


Outer Worldly Temptations

by Meerkatgal156



Category: South Park
Genre: Drama, Explicit Sexual Content, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, M/M, Main is Creek so most of it is them, Romance, Twenny is important to the plot it's not exactly a love triangle by my standards
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-07
Updated: 2018-02-06
Packaged: 2018-08-29 14:42:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 32,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8493850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meerkatgal156/pseuds/Meerkatgal156
Summary: Craig hoped being friends would be enough to satisfy him, but as time goes on he soon realizes he may have lost his chance before he knew he had one. Tweek tries to find himself and what he wants in life, in the process exploring more of himself than he'd ever imagine possible. Together they find themselves trying to make the right decisions in hopes of not losing each other.





	1. Still Awake

**Author's Note:**

> This begins with Third person POV, but turns into First person POV with Craig after the first scene.  
> From that point on it will always be in First person with chapters alternating between Craig's and Tweek's perspectives.

Craig couldn’t help his mind from going there. The place that made him feel good. The place that made him feel on fire. The place that made him feel nothing and everything all at once. His breath hitched as he stared up at his star speckled ceiling that glowed dull green. He shuddered as his hand slipped past the band of his briefs, following his happy trail further and further down until he felt a familiar heat. He sucked in his bottom lip, lightly gnawing on it as he pictured a shaky blond’s hand in place of his own. He gripped his hardening length with even pressure, slowly pumping himself. Teasing himself in place of the blond. He felt his tongue slid against the part of his lip that was between his teeth, wetting it in his desperation. The sex dream he had woken up from in a cold sweat ran through his chaotic mind.

_Craig remembered that he was under his twitchy friend as their hips ground into each other. His tent matched the one in Tweek’s pants as they watched each grind harder against one another. Their heavy pants frantic._

He bit back a moan, his fingers tightening around himself.

_Tweek’s hand felt so real when he had begun to grope him. The pressure was driving him crazy and he cried out for more. Tweek shuddered at the noise, but smirked with a mysterious glint in his ever-green eyes as he moved Craig’s shorts, along with his boxer briefs, down. His hand curled around Craig’s base._

His hand began to move faster, tightening more around himself. He felt his heart beat profusely in his chest. Thumping loudly in his ears. 

_Tweek lowered himself, his tongue flickered out, tasting the precum that was seaming out of Craig’s tip. Craig watched, dazed and in need of more. The only thing that came out of his mouth was a desperate whine, and Tweek glanced up at him in understanding. He followed Craig’s silent order and inhaled sharply, opening his small mouth just enough to fit Craig into it._

Craig could feel himself beginning to shake. His toes curled underneath his blankets as his back arched automatically.

_His friend’s tongue teasingly lapped at his cock. He felt like he was about to explode when he felt the slightest bit of suction. He tangled one hand in the blond’s shaggy hair and the other in the bed sheets. The shaky boy must have found encouragement in his touch, his head bobbed faster, and Craig could feel himself going deeper into Tweek’s mouth._

His head felt dizzy with his erratic panting. He was thrusting himself into his hand, moans and whines slipping past his self-control. He didn’t care, he didn’t want to think of it. It felt too good, it felt too perfect.

_Craig felt his body losing itself, he was barely able to alert the smaller boy of his climax. Tweek hummed in acknowledgement, the vibrations causing the blue eyed male to spill into Tweek’s mouth. The blond didn’t stop. His mouth slowly continued to move up and down Craig, feeling every pulse Craig produced around his lips._

A strangled noise slipped from the back of Craig’s throat as he finally released. His hand stilled as he felt the warm, sticky liquid spill onto it, dripping down onto his abdomen.

All his tension slowly faded. His muscle relaxed as he turned into a sweaty puddle on his bed. His breathe uneven while he looked at the mess he created. Groaning, he threw his head back, resting his free arm over his eyes.

If only it had been real.

If only he didn’t have a thing for his best friend.

-

It wasn’t the first time I had jerked off to Tweek Tweak. No, there have been countless of times when I’d just lay in bed all day and day dream about us in some exotic, very, very erotic situations. I never really wanted to admit it to myself though, you know? I mean what guy really wanted to think about it? Having a giant loser crush on one of your best friends? Let alone them being a guy? Although it goes both ways, I’m thankful that Tweek has never showed any romantic (or sexual) interests in any one. And although it works out in my favor, it also gives me a disadvantage. I had no idea if Tweek was even into guys, or anyone for that matter. What if he was asexual? As much as I liked Tweek, I had a giant boner for him and I wanted to bang, like really bad. Granted if the stars and planets aligned and all the cosmic beings felt generous and gave me the chance to date Tweek, even if Tweek wasn’t into banging, then I would soooooo take that opportunity in a heartbeat. It would suck to have to only jerk off for the rest of my life, but that boy would it be worth it. Tweek was worth everything and anything.

But all that was beside the point, because Tweek’s sexuality was a mystery to me. The simple, and most obvious, answer to all of it is to just ask Tweek himself but I didn’t care enough to do so. Or so I told myself. In truth I was scared of the answer, so it was easier if I didn’t want to know rather than be curious about it. Because there was that high possibility that Tweek wasn’t into dudes. So I figured if I left that question alone, I could still pretend something could happen. Plus even if Tweek WAS into guys, who said I was his type? I had no intentions of being friend zoned, fuck that man.

In the end though, he’s still my best friend and I’d have to deal with this ridiculous thing called a crush.

I shivered as the chilled air seeped through my layers of clothes. Colorado sucked ass when it came close to winter time, but everyone had to deal with it since they had no other choice. Unless they moved, then I guess they’d have a choice.

I gradually slipped into my spot at the bus stop next to Clyde who was animatedly talking to Kevin Stoley. It was too early for his nonsense. How could this boy be so hyper active all the time? I guess someone had to be the perky one in the friend group though.

“Oh Craig! Guess what!” The brunette finally noticed me as I thumbled around my backpack for my cigarettes. I grunted in response as I slipped one of the thin sticks between my numbing lips.

“I finally saved up enough money for a car! No more taking the buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuus, sucker.”

“Oh joy, another idiot on the road, just what we needed.” Clyde stuck his tongue out and I gladly returned the rude gesture with another, by flicking him off. Clyde huffed, and returned to talking to Stoley about something akin to a truck that he wanted. I didn’t even know why Clyde was making a big deal about not taking the bus anyway, Token usually gave us rides to school ever since he got his license.

Token was an asshole for not driving us to school today. Something about his car being fixed up in the shop, I don’t know, I can’t quite remember, I wasn’t paying much attention when he was telling us about it. Tweek had been wearing a new shirt that day, it had been a bit tighter than the rest of his wardrobe and I couldn’t help but to take in as much as I could of the blond at that moment. All those images I was mentally taking that day was taking up all my mental storage so that I could have those images for good use later that night. And boy, let me tell you, I ended cumming so hard I passed out before I could even think to clean myself up. Aaaah, good times.

When the bus finally pulled up, I threw my cigarette on the ground. The motion to board it and sit in the closest available seat to the front was automatic. Stan and those assholes usually sat in the back, so I had gotten in the habit of sitting as far away from them as possible whenever I had the ride the bus. Usually they weren’t that rowdy in the mornings, it was the afternoon rides with them that could be quite annoying.

Man, it's only been a day and I already I miss Token’s car.

-

“You have to stay again?” The doe-eyed blond nodded as he bit into his sandwich. Clyde groaned, disappointed as well.

“Yea, this stupid concept just isn’t getting through to me for some reason and Mrs. Jamieson said she had time today once classes are over.”

Clyde draped himself over Token’s shoulder, who in turn patted his brown straw-like hair. “Tweek, you haven’t been able to hang out in like,” He started to count on his fingers, once he ran out he looked lost and frowned towards Tweek. “Forever! That’s a long time, bro!”

Tweek raised his eyebrows, “Clyde, don’t worry. Tomorrow I have the test for this section, then after that I’ll be free to hang whenever.”

The brunette pouted but accepted Tweek’s answer and continued to eat his second helping of greasy-ass school pizza.

Lunch passed by like usual. Boring old lunch, boring old school. Boring, boring, boring. Just the way I like it. Granted sitting here drooling on myself while I stare into a void of notes on the white board isn’t exactly the kind of boring I enjoy. There’s two types of boring. There’s boring, normal day, normal life, routine, calmness, and absolutely no wild adventures. Then there’s Boring, like right now. God science sucked. I don’t give zero shits about the volume of a ball in water, or elasticity, or whatever way electricity goes.

But lucky for me, both Clyde and Tweek are in my class. Poor Token was dumb enough to take the second level of chemistry. He claims he wants to get into science or something in college but I continuously tell him he’s wrong and should go into the medical field, to become a brain surgeon and make even more bank with his smart ass but he laughs. He claims you’d have to know some chemistry in order to become a surgeon anyway, so if he changed his mind he was already on the right path. He should just listen to me in the first place, but whatever.

Sadly, I don’t sit next to Tweek in this class, Clyde had spotted me on the first day of class and planted his big ass next to me before Tweek even had the chance to enter the room. It was cool though, I was able to watch Tweek better with this position. My small little Tweek ended up having to sit next to Kenny McCormick, the almost drop out. Honestly, I’m pretty chill with him, I’m actually cool with even Stan and them but sometimes I also can’t stand being on the same planet as them. Just depends on my mood, and mostly my mood isn’t that great when it comes to their shenanigans.

Tweek’s table was closer to the front of the room, diagonal from my table. Luckily Kenny had chosen the window seat, so Tweek had no choice to get the aisle seat. The perfect little window to watch him.

Clyde nudged me to get my attention, “Hey, Craig?”

“Huh?” I took one last glance at Tweek who was taking notes. He hurriedly wrote down every word, and I knew he was worried he’d miss the slide before the teacher changed it.

“You wanna hang out? Obviously Tweek is out and Token said something about his parents and him going to meet his aunt at the airport tonight. So just you and me, buddy?”

“Sure.” Leaned my chair back. “What about football practice though?”

“Seriously? You’re so lame Craig, football ended like two weeks ago.” Ooops.

“Oh.”

“God, I don’t know how I’m friends with you, dumb ass.”

“Same goes to you, cry baby.”

“I don’t cry! Anymore...” He was pouting.

“Boys!” Both our heads snap towards the front of the room where our teacher gave us a pointed look. “Craig stop leaning on my chairs.”

I rolled my eyes and fixed myself. This bitch. Not only did she teach a boring ass subject, she gave boring ass lectures, and she was the queen bitch of the school. I should have just taken biology, damn you Tweek for taking this course. Damn you for not being able to dissect worms and frogs.

The last two classes of the day went by almost as boring as physical science. Neither of them involved Tweek, Token, or Clyde. Actually most of my classes didn’t involve them. Clyde and I shared gym class. Science with Tweek and Clyde. The great majority of the senior class had the same lunch so of course we’d all be in it together during that period as well. I also shared a study hall with Jimmy but he was sort of in and out of our group, more so out than in anymore.

Clyde and I both decided to walk to his place after the bus dropped us off.

“Winter fucking sucks!” He bitched. I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not winter yet.”

“It will be soon enough! And then winter break, then graduation!”

“Bro, really? Don’t talk about disgusting shit like that. Plus I’m pretty sure winter break starts before the first official day of winter.”

He ignored the latter part of my comment, “I know Craigy-poo. You want to stay in high school forever and mooch off your parents and never leave their basement.”

“Asshole. Not true, you know that.” Well he wasn’t fully wrong. I actually didn’t mind high school despite how much I hated having to wake up and waste my time there, but I could at least sleep during my classes. I actually have two study halls this year. Almost had three but they screwed up my schedule and put me in art. Art turned out not to be too bad, the teacher lets us listen to our own music as long as we have headphones. “Have you decided anything yet anyway?”

“What, after graduation? I’ve been applying to colleges that are near the one Bebe was accepted to. That way we could still be decently close and see each other. Since no one wants to take me for football I figure why the hell not.”

“You think you guys will last?” A lot changes after graduation. Or so I’ve heard.

“I’d like to think so, but hey, if not at least we won’t be at the same school.” He sounded bummed.

“You actually used your brain for once and thought of this didn’t you?” He nodded with a sigh.

“Well I mean, we’ve always had our ups and downs. And she’s damn sexy, like have you seen her knockers?”

“God, yes, you’ve shown me enough titty pics to last a lifetime, please no more.”

“I wasn’t going to show you, jerk. My point is, once she’s in college and doing her cheerleading thing of course guys will be all over her, and if someone better looking than me. Which by the way probably doesn’t exist. But if her mind is warped and she does happen to think that someone else is better lookin’ and leaves me at least I don’t have to see it.”

“Which is why you aren’t applying to her actual college?”

“Duh.”

“I’m impressed you thought it through so much. My little Clyde is finally thinking like a big boy. Token would be so proud.” I probably deserved the punch he gave my arm. It stung a bit, but I knew he was joking. But I also like to joke back. And pushed him into someone’s yard.

Clyde usually brought up graduation at some point when it was just him and I hanging out. I’d like to think it was because he was worried about me. Papa Clyde wanted to make sure I have some sort of plan after we get our diplomas. I honestly wonder if he thinks I truly plan to stay with my parents. As much as I like free loading I’m not some pussy. At some point I’ll get a job, and maybe I’ll go to college too. I just don’t want to waste thousands on some school when I have absolutely no clue what I’d be there for. Plus I doubt many colleges would want me since my grades are shit. Oh well. I just hope to find some decent paying job. I’ll just live with whatever white-collar life that a high school diploma can get me.

We ended up playing various video games. Clyde mostly talked about his “oh so incredible bang” with Bebe in her car last night after their spectacular date at Casa Bonita. Half listening, and half dazing off I’d make random noises and nods to encourage him on in his story. Though I’ve already heard basically the same story for the past few years. Big boobs, nice vagina, wow. Exciting. But good for him, he seems happy every time he shares his experiences with Bebe so I let him do his thing.

-

My bed was the best bed in the world and no one can tell me otherwise. It was perfect. Well actually, it was almost perfect. The last piece it needed was someone laying next time me. Someone to fill that cold, empty void. And lucky me the particular person I had in mind just happened to just have messaged me.

_From tweek: Still awake?_

Tweek, oh you sweet child, of course I’m awake at 9 fucking pm, most people are.

_Yep_

_From tweek: Can I come over_

_From tweek: *?_

Fuck yeah!

_Sure_

_From tweek: Okay, I’ll be over in 15_

I lived for these night visits. I absolutely love how Tweek made time for me even during his busy weeks. Usually right before tests, after days of unnecessarily long studying Tweek will come over to my place. Just to get away from things he claims. I like it though, I feel like I’m a pillow he falls back on when he’s tired of life. I am the only one who gets this unspoken privilege. Clyde and Token don’t know he chills with me most nights when he’s stressed. It’s our little secret time together from the world.

It wasn’t long until I received a text from him that he’d made it to my house. I let him in from the garage and snuck him upstairs. It wasn’t too hard to sneak people into my house. My parents were usually in their room by 9 or 10. Ruby didn’t give two shits what I did or who I brought over, since she does the same exact thing. Honestly I’m pretty sure our parents know I bring Tweek over, though I’m not so sure they know Ruby has brought boys home before.

Silently we entered my room. He had his school backpack with him and an extra bag of what looked like clothes. Guess he’s planning to stay the night. Nice.

I returned to the spot I was previously at on my bed. Laying back against my propped pillows, my eyes following Tweek as he slowly situated his stuff before sitting himself on the edge of my bed. He seemed uncomfortable. He continuously fidgeted with the sleeves of his shirt, gnawing gentling on his chapped lips.

“The math test really bothering you that much, Tweekers?” He narrowed his eyes at me, most likely for the unwanted nickname I sometimes call him. Probably cause he doesn’t like to be referred to as a druggie. Instead of staying annoyed though, he sighed and flopped backwards. The top of his head narrowly missing my leg. He bunched my sheets around himself, snuggling into them.

“No man, it’s not that. Well it is. What if I fail it and then fail the class? I could get kicked out of school or something because they’d be so mad I failed a class. I can’t handle that…”

“Seriously? You’re a math-wiz, don’t sweat it dude. You’re super smart, this section might be rough but there’s no doubt you’ll pass.” I learned long ago to stop Tweek before he started on his tangents. Not only did it save us time and breathe, but also it seemed to help Tweek realize when he’s being overly paranoid.

His anxiety is still pretty bad, but thankfully with the right mix of pills he’s been able to fight back a lot of his issues. To put it lightly, he’s chilled out a lot since elementary school which has been super beneficial for his health. The only reason he looks like a zombie is because he can’t be like a normal person and has weird sleeping schedules.

“You think so?”

“Have I ever been wrong?”

He hesitated before chuckling, “Well yeah, actually yo-”

“Shut up, you’re lying.”

“Well sorry, Craig-I-Know-Every-Thing-Tucker.” He put his hands up in defense. But he was laying down and not even facing me, he was defending himself towards the ceiling.

“You fucking know it.” He grunted, smacking my leg.

He should really know better by now. Of course I kicked his head, softly though, I’m not that mean. At least to friends. Or at least to Tweek.

I watched as his face scrunched up. Smacking my leg a bit harder, and in return he got foot in the face.

“Asshole!” He screeched, trying to push my leg away as I slowly pushed him towards the edge of the bed by his face. Although my plan did not succeed and I quickly realized I had made a big mistake. Only realizing my error when he grabbed my ankle with lightning speed, and before I could even attempt to withdraw he was already dusting his fingertips with his free hand on the bottom of my foot.

I tried so hard to keep a straight face. I truly did. That façade completely failed though and I tried to fight him off while not dying from laughter. Tweek was the only one who knew about my only ticklish spots. My feet. He just happened to have discovered it a while ago when trying to cheer me up from whatever upset me that day. Of course, he used it to his advantage every chance he got. Sometimes he’d even black mail me into doing shit for him in order that it doesn’t “accidentally” slip out when talking to Clyde or Token.

I managed to grab onto him, pulling him up and away from my feet. His grip was tight though and my fingers slipped through the fabric of his shirt. He quickly saddled my thighs, his back towards me as he once again got ahold of one of my feet. I furiously kicked my legs everywhere but by some miracle he was not slipping up. I attempted to gather myself, heaving my upper body up to wrap my arms around him, pinning his arms to his sides, and pulling him back. He shrieked as he fell back against my chest, but I was not letting up so easily and continued to hold him tightly against me.

“You fucker!” I wheezed out. Fuck this kid for having no sensitive spots.

He laughed loudly, releasing the rest of the energy he had built up as he wiggled himself to rest his head more comfortably next to mine. Our cheeks brushed together as he settled himself across me, my arms relaxing around him but not releasing him.

God I hope we didn’t wake my parents up with all that noise. Too late now to try to be quiet I guess.

I listened as his breathing began to settle back into a steady pattern. I willed myself to not let my mind wonder to how his body was pressed to mine, or how I had to keep control of my hands from drifting to places they didn’t belong. But god, let me tell you how hard it is. After months of practice I have finally mastered awkward boners springing up. For the most part anyway. I was only good at keeping them at bay when I put myself in these sort of situations. Probably because even my body fears of what would happen if my dick did decide to get a stiffy while he is pressed against it.

I began to feel a heavy pressure build up in my chest from his weight against it and knew it was time to move. As much as I didn’t want to.

Slowly, I began to shift so he knew I’d be moving but he made no effort to move himself. And people called me the stubborn one. With a grunt I somehow managed to roll us both onto our sides. I tried to keep a decent distance between us, but couldn’t fight the temptation to push my upper half against his back, causing my face to be attacked by his hair.

I inhaled deeply. God I loved his smell.

The thing is he didn’t even have a really distinct smell, he just smelled like Tweek. Nothing special like coffee or strawberry scented shampoo or any of that bullshit, but just simply Tweek. A vague, thin scent. But it was still his, it was Tweek’s, and Jesus could I fucking breathe him in for days.

He released a soft sigh.

Maybe it was my stupid mind playing tricks, but it felt as if he leaned back closer to me.

I didn’t want to speak, but my arm that was stuck under him was starting to tingle, and I really didn’t want it to feel like static. Thankfully my other arm was already free and loosely draped over his hip.

“Lift a bit.” He hummed in question at first until I began to wiggle what I could of my arm.

“Oh, oh.” He shifted his body to free my hand, only for me to slide it underneath the space between the pillow and his neck. He just chuckled and nestled into it. “This is pretty gay.” He said.

“You’re pretty gay.” I could mentally see his eyes roll.

“Nice come back.”

“Thanks, I thought it was pretty clever if I do say so myself.” He kicked me. What an ass.

“You hung out with Clyde today?” He asked.

“Mmmhm.” The overhead light was starting to bother me, but I really didn’t want to move. I stretched my legs instead and pushed them against the back of his. We’re practically spooning and I love it. “He brought up graduation again, he just won’t drop it. He literally brings it up whenever he can.”

“I think… I think he’s just worried? Like maybe he feels like with him and most other people leaving town for college, and with you staying, that he’s abandoning you?”

“Ha. I doubt it’s that deep.” I mumbled.

“Maybe so, but I mean you should probably try to decide what you want to do, you know? Or just say something to ease him for the time being.”

“I guess.”

Thankfully he dropped the subject. For the most part we spent the rest of the night periodically bringing up whatever came to mind, but most topics died quickly leaving us in a peaceful quietness.

Eventually we both grew too tired to even make coherent sentences. I figured he was asleep by the time I began to drift off. Making sure to snuggle closer to him without a care of what he may think in the morning, I finally fell asleep.


	2. His Bed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweek's POV.

Now there have been many times that Craig and I have fallen asleep in positions that most friends don’t tend to sleep in, but here we are. Cuddling and entangled in the sheets together. This was the worst part of it, the waking up bit. I always wake up before Craig. Don’t get me wrong, I love sleeping in as much as the next guy, but what Craig does isn’t even considered sleeping in. It’s beyond that. Like once he’s out, he’s hibernating like a bear. But a bear who doesn’t even wake up for summer. Some poor hitchhiker has to go and poke it awake with a stick in order for it to finally open its eyes. 

I’m the poor hitchhiker. 

And in both situations, it doesn’t end well. 

So most mornings when I find myself sharing the same bed as Craig I try my damn hardest not to wake up his grumpy butt to avoid disaster.  
After a few minutes of slowly untangling my limbs from him, I was finally able to stretch. The ceiling light shined unwelcomely in my face as I grabbed the closest cellphone near me. Ten minutes until the morning alarm is supposed to go off. My luck. Since I’d be struggling to wake the snoozing body next to me, I figured I’d be better off getting ready earlier than normal.

As I began to scooch off the bed I found my gaze on Craig.

A bad, and highly embarrassing habit of mine is to watch him sleep.  
Why? Really, I’m not so sure myself. I mean it’s not like anyone’s around to judge me for it. I know a lot of what I do when I’m alone with Craig tends to lean over the thin boarder line that separates friendship and… not so friendly things. I also know that staring at your friend while he sleeps is far past that point.  
His hair was everywhere, some of it sticking to the pillow from the static. His lips were partly open. One of his hands rested in an odd angle against his cheek, making it puff up against his eye. 

I chuckled, there was no doubt in my mind it was going to leave a stupid red mark on his face when he wakes up.

Gradually, my eyes scanned lower. I couldn’t see much this morning. Most mornings blankets weren’t usually covering him. They were usually pulled around me or hazardously thrown elsewhere. There had been quite a few times when I took the time to fully look at him. Most nights he’ll fall asleep in his boxers, and with little fabric around his waist it’s hard to cover his morning wood. The first time I saw it I immediately left the room, too embarrassed from seeing it. Many times after I left for a different reason, to make sure my own didn’t stay any longer than needed. That progressed to staying on the edge of the bed, taking my time to study his lowly half.  
I guess this is when I really started to question myself on how pure my intentions were towards this friendship of ours. But, like everything else when it comes to Craig and my thoughts of him, I don’t let my mind stay too long on it. Afraid I may push the limits.

-

When I walked in after preparing myself for the day, the alarm was long blaring. I had even heard it start up while I was brushing my teeth. I swiftly pushed the button to silence the irritating noise.

“Why didn’t you shut it off?” Though I already knew the answer.

With a dramatic groan he grumbled, “Too far away.”

“Well wakey wakey, you gotta get ready for school.”

“I’m skipping.” He tossed himself away from me.

“No, you’re not.” I kneeled onto the edge. “Get up!” I demanded, ripping the blankets he had rolled around him off. Not without a struggle of course. In turn, he whined.

“Give those back, asshole. It’s freezing.” He finally started to sit up, only to glare at me.

I was right. His face did look stupid with a red mark on it. 

From the window I heard the wind whip against the house. I wandered to it. Mostly so I wouldn’t laugh and tick him off even more. Curtains aside, I could see that outside was dim. Little light poured through the thick clouds.

I frowned, “Is it supposed to rain today?” He made some kind of noise, who knows what kind of response it was meant to be.

A car turning the corner caught my attention. The burgundy vehicle seemed awfully similar to Token’s and my suspicions were proven correct as it pulled to a halt in front of the house. 

“Token’s here.” I announced. Craig stumbled out of bed, a thin blanket wrapped around him. He peered over my head to the small car outside.

“I thought it was in the shop.” He mumbled.

“Apparently not. Now hurry up, he’s waiting.”

The big baby groaned again, flopping onto the bed.

-

“Late like usual!” Token scolded. Craig rolled his eyes.

“Sorry, we didn’t know you were getting us today.” I said, strapping myself in. 

He glanced back to us with a grin, “I’m glad you’re here, I was hoping I wouldn’t have to hunt you down.”

“Well surprise.”

“Why are you here?” Craig asked, throwing his backpack in the middle seat. 

Token gasped, offended. “Because I’m your friend and I love you.” He began to drive towards North Park.

“Seriously, I thought your car was getting fixed.”

Clyde, who sat shot gun, finally piped in. “Craig, you’re so clueless. Cars don’t take long to fix, especially if you got mulla’ to bump up your spot on the list.”

Token elbowed him, “You’re a jerk.”

“So it’s true!” He laughed. Token only shook his head, knowing fully well that there was no point in arguing with Clyde over his power with money.

“Hey, be thankful he’s still driving your ass around. I would’ve made you take the bus if I were Token.” Craig directed to Clyde, who in turn pouted.

“Well now I know who won’t be riding in my truck once I get it.” He crossed his arms, and Craig smirked. He probably had some comeback already prepared, but Token spoke up instead.

“Actually, did you guys hear about the new restaurant opening?”

I sat up more, “It’s open already?” I’d been so excited to try it out. It was some kind of restaurant like Apple Bee’s or Texas Rode House or something like that, but better and way cheaper.

Clyde nodded, twisting himself to face me. “Yea, it opened yesterday. Apparently they finished a month early and decided to just open the doors instead of waiting. Do you guys want to go after school?”

“I’m free.”

Token nodded, “Sure.”

I looked over to Craig, who was resting against the window. His eyes were shut, but he hummed in agreement.

-

I couldn’t bring myself to pay attention to my Spanish lessons during first period. I ended up falling asleep much earlier than intended last night, which cut out major study time for the math test I have today. The forty-five minutes passed by way too quickly for my liking and I found myself in English. As done in Spanish I continued to study. Until I was interrupted that is. 

While I was in the math zone I had apparently missed vital information on a research project we are supposedly assigned. To say the least, I was very confused when everyone around me began to pack up their belongings and scatter to different seats. 

Luckily, I didn’t have to embarrass myself because Kenny sat at the single desk in front of me and turned it around to face mine.

“Howdy Partner.” He grabbed the tip of his fur laced hood to tip down as if it were a cowboy hat.

“Hello?”

The teacher began to speak before he could respond, “Today you all can figure out what topics you would like to do and start on some research. You can use your laptops and phones if you have those on you.” As she spoke she passed out papers to each group. “Remember, today is your only day to work on it in class. You will have to meet with your assigned partners on your on time. If you have any questions, let me know.”

“Oh Jesus, I didn’t think we were starting this so soon.” I could feel my anxiety rising. I searched desperately for the due date on the paper. Two weeks. Good. That should be more than enough time. 

“You got any ideas?” Kenny leaned back, pulling out his phone. Obviously not searching for topics.

As much I liked Kenny and hanging out with him, school was not his thing. And being partnered up with him for big projects like this one was a punishment. He not only never knew what was going on in class because he simply didn’t care, but he also never liked to help out in group assignments either. Meaning all the workload was mine. Maybe Craig can help me out if he finishes his own early. He owes me a favor or two with school projects anyway.

“No? I honestly have no idea what this project is about.” I put the instructions aside to look at my math guidelines.

“Something about using a book we’ve read at some point and writing about their controversies or something like that.”

I glanced up at him, though his eyes stayed glued to his phone. “Well if you don’t mind, I have a test I need to really study for. Maybe we can meet up another day to figure it  
out?” I already knew his answer though.

“Yep, that works.”

-

The test was much easier than I had expected. I knew a few answers were wrong because I had no choice but to guess on them. Thankfully she used a scantron test this time and didn’t require the actual solving process to be written down.

The rest of school went like usual after that. During physical science Kenny and I established we were going to meet on Friday, which was tomorrow, to actually start on the project. Though I made it clear I couldn’t do it for long since I was scheduled to work and couldn’t afford to miss the after-school bus.  
Even though it was a relatively normal day, I felt great relief when we all piled into Token’s car to head down to Kegan’s Bar and Grill.

 

In recent years the small town of South Park grew into a slightly medium town. It was either put money into new developments to attract new people or let the town continue to dwindle ever so slowly. Kegan’s is one of many new expansions of restaurants and shops. 

Originally, I didn’t like the idea of South Park not being the little homey town that I recall from my childhood, but once store doors began to open the rest of South Park and I quickly found different opinions and welcomed the new shops and people moving in.

As we all shuffled into the restaurant I knew immediately that I would love the food. The aroma was heavenly and my empty stomach felt like it was trying to claw out of my body to find the closest meal to consume.

A fairly spunky girl ushered us across the floor to one of the few tables that were available. Settling into the seats didn’t take too long and we quickly found ourselves drooling over the menu. In no time our orders were placed, and we had no other choice but to patiently wait for the food to arrive.

While Clyde glanced over the dessert menu he said, “Did I tell you guys my dad and his girlfriend are supposed to take a week long trip to Las Vegas or something like that next month?”

Token piped up before Craig and I had a chance, “Woah, seriously?”

“Yeah, since she’s moving in and shit I guess my dad feels like it’s serious enough to spend all kinds of money on her.”

“Well you don’t sound very happy about it all.” I said.

He placed the dessert menu down just as I felt someone’s foot tap against mine. 

“Well, I am. I mean I’m glad he’s happy and all. And I’m totally psyched they are going to be gone for the week and I’ll have the house to myself. Party man. But, I’m pretty sure he’s going to propose to her while they are there. Plus, we will have a lot more extra money since she’ll be with us now, so them spending a lot now doesn’t make much of a difference. Just old habits of worrying, I guess.”

I glanced under the table, dirty worn sneakers continued to tap at my own shoes. Of course they belonged to no other than the boy sitting across from me, Craig. I tapped back.

“I thought you liked her?” Craig asked.

“I do, I do. I don’t know, man. It’s just…”

“Not your mom?”

“Yeah. And since my sister moved out last year it’s been sort of weird.”

We hummed in response. None of us truly knew how it felt to have a single parent, let alone them begin to date someone new.

Luckily though, Token had taken charge of changing the mood of the table by shifting the topic to gossip about who’s been hooking up with who. Stuff that, though interesting at times, I easily get confused with. How Clyde and Token keep up on the never-ending drama of high school, I will never know.

The foot tapping persisted, even while I stared blankly at Token, watching his lips move. Yet none of his words reached me. My attention was on the seemly Morse code Craig and I began to do. Albeit, neither of us new Morse, it was still fun to tap out patterns as if we were.

While I tried to tap out his full name, he decided to cut me short by capturing my foot between both of his. Wiggling with little effort to escape. I heard him snickered to himself. It seems the other two didn’t notice, too engrossed in their conversation.

Even with the weather becoming increasingly colder, the doof decided not to wear his hat today. Otherwise, he wore the rest of his usual attire of jeans, and some sort of T-shirt hidden by a slightly bigger than needed hoodie. 

When he wore blues, black, and grays, his blue eyes became the predominate feature of his face. Luckily those were the colors he always had on.  
His thick eyelashes helped make his eyes pop just a bit more as well, much like how when girls wear fake eyelashes. He had nice cheekbones and a jawline too. Though neither being striking enough to “cut” someone, they weren’t completely hidden either.

His face, along with his tall, lean body was enough to make people stare. Or maybe, it was enough to make just me want to stare.  
Just went did my eyes wonder over to him?

If it wasn’t enough that I was blatantly staring at him for no reason, he too was looking right back.

I inhaled a bit too harshly at the sudden realization that I had been caught. I tried so hard to keep my eyes away, looking at my two friends still gossiping, to the table, and other restaurant customers. 

But that urge, that stupid, stupid urge, to look at someone when you know they are looking at you hit me like a train. My eyes returned to him, not once, not twice, but multiple times. My hand flew up to my hair, not pulling at it this time, but brushing it out of my face.  
Why was he staring? Why was I staring?  
God I hate when I can’t tell what he is thinking.

He kept completely composed, as if we were having a staring contest. Let me tell you, he was winning for sure. 

What if there was something on my face? Was he too embarrassed to tell me? Of course, now I have to try to wipe under my nose just to make sure. But would that be too obvious that I’m checking it? Oh god what if there’s something around my mouth? I haven’t even ate yet though… So then does that mean I have a food stain on my face from lunch? How embarrassing would that be if I had food on me all day…

It felt as if a long period of time passed as I struggled with my internal distress about my face and him staring so blatantly. And even though it felt like forever, it was all abruptly over, much to my relief and confusion.

He pulled out his chair and stood swiftly, “I gotta run to the bathroom.”

We all glanced up, muttering okay’s.

Clyde and Token went right back into their story of some chick apparently sleeping with Cartman, while I watched after Craig who disappeared behind a corner.  
While the two were distracted, and also while I tried not to think too deeply into what just happened, I grabbed my phone to check my face.  
All was clear, thank god.

“Ah! I almost forgot! Guys,” Token was smiling, this must be good. He glanced around before he continued, “I finally got my letter yesterday from the University of Michigan. I got accepted!”

“Dude, seriously! Congrats!” Clyde reached across and punched him in the arm. 

“Yea, man, congratulations!” I’m really happy for him. That was his top choice school. He said they had a good science program. Though he never went to visit the campus he said he read a lot of good reviews about it all. 

“Thanks guys. Don’t say anything to Craig about it yet.” He looked pointed at Clyde. ”When I told him I was thinking about going there he seemed a little upset. I’ll tell him soon, just not right now.” He definitely would have been upset. Michigan and Colorado aren’t exactly neighboring states. Rather, he’d probably not be able to come home to see us except for winter and summer breaks. “Plus, I did end up applying to other colleges. So I want to hear back from them first before I make a final decision, but I really think Michigan is the one.”

“Understandable.” Just as I said this Clyde spotted Craig incoming, whispering to alert us of his return.

Right behind Craig followed our waitress. Never in my life was I so happy to see food. 

-

When we arrived at Craig’s house I told Token to not worry about taking me home. I’d just walk since I had to grab some things left there from the morning. Of course, it was a little white lie. Craig didn’t question it either though, he was used to me popping back in with him after hanging out all day. And of course, I didn’t want to upset Token or Clyde that I was choosing to hang out longer with just Craig, then continue to hang out with all of us together.

 

Craig’s bed was a haven for me. When my back hits that mattress, all stress is instantly gone from the day. 

“Aaaah, the test wasn’t that hard by the way. I wish I hadn’t worried so much over it.”

“I figured you’d be fine with it.” He was taking his school materials out of his backpack, not like he really reads the textbooks or anything. Not sure why he carries them around all day. “But you know, it’s over with now, and at least we had that good ass dinner.”

I rolled onto my side to watch him more clearly. “It really was good, I want to go again soon.”  
Usually Craig’s silence was not unfamiliar, yet this time something was off. I watched as he uncrumpled a piece of paper that he had pulled from his hoodie pocket. 

“What’s that?”

He breathed in deeply, stilling himself from fidgeting with the paper. 

He turned slightly, enough for me to see him run a hand down his face, still staring at the white sheet. 

“So, you remember when I went to the bathroom at Kegan’s?” I hummed in response. “Well, I ended up grabbing a application on the way back to the table.” He passed the application over for me to look at. I sat up to have a better look. It wasn’t too different from the ones we use at my parent’s coffee shop. 

I felt the smile stretch onto my face before I could even stop myself. Is this how a parent feels when their kids achieve something great? Kind of like when they see their child take their first steps by themselves?

I always knew he was anxious when it came to the idea of starting a job. I thought it would only happen once we graduated and he had no other choice to. I feel so happy, more so than I did earlier with Token. He did this on his own accord, he’s taking steps he’s not comfortable with, even if he’s never said so himself.

“We- you need start feeling this out now. You know, before the spot is taken!” I don’t want him taking his time and over thinking it, only to back out in the end. I know how that is, I live through that every day. 

“Well… Maybe… I don’t know, I just sort of grabbed it, I’m not sure if I really want to do it.” This is one of the upsides about being one of Craig Tucker’s best friends. I get to be his support. Especially now, after all this time of him helping me. I want to help him too. I need to encourage him. “I mean, being a waiter is a bit, I don’t know. I don’t think I’d be good with people.”

“Just apply for an easy position. Here it says you can apply be a bus boy or a dishwasher. If you do that, you can still work and not deal with the actual customers.” 

“Let me think about it, maybe you can help me fill it out tomorrow?” He looked so unsure. How precious.

“Of course! Definitely tomorrow! We’re going to do it. I’m not giving you a choice.” I thrusted the paper into his hands. I know he tried to hide it, but I saw the small smile he made.

Tomorrow though, something about tomorrow. What was it?

“Oh! Dang, I have to meet up with Kenny after school tomorrow for a dumb project. Then I have work afterwards.”

Craig crawled onto the bed with me, “The English one?”

“Yea, I was studying for math during class, so I figured we could just meet after school and get it all figured out then.”

He snickered as he started to strip down, “Have fun with doing the whole project.” I focused my gaze at the wrinkled application on his messy desk. 

“Shut up, I’m already hating this whole thing.”

After throwing all his clothes onto the floor he got underneath one of the sheets. 

“It’s only English though. So, it’s not too bad. I mean, it still sucks you have to do all of it, but I was his partner last year with something and I still got a good grade on it.” I stared at him unbelieving. 

“Of course, you did, you asshole, because I did all of it for you guys, remember?” I smacked him lightly on the head.

A bit delayed, he shielded himself with the covers and stayed hidden in it, laughing. “Oh right, oops. Thanks for the A.”

I groaned, and if he was looking he would have seen my rolling my eyes. Eyes that ended up focusing on the unused alarm clock next to his bed. It was already late, and I shouldn’t stay another night, I didn’t bring enough clothes with me.

And yea I had clean clothes here, but those were for emergencies, so I’d rather not worry having to bring new ones over again. I placed my hand on his lumpy form. Assumingly where his shoulder was.

“Hey, I’m going to head out now.”

He was already half way to dream land judging by his voice. “Ugh, okay. Hit the lights please.”

“Will do.” I gathered my belongs and made for the door, making sure to flick the lights off.

-

“I only have until the after-school bus leaves. I can’t get stranded here since both my parents are busy and I have work to get to.”

Kenny cracked his neck beside me. The computer he sat at was completely off, his swivel chair facing towards my screen instead.

“No worries, Tweek my boy, I too have to catch the bus.” I huffed out a laugh. 

The book I remember most about is To Kill a Mocking Bird, so that is what we, or I, am currently looking into. Not only did I have to refresh my memory with Sparknotes, but I decided to find some sources for our topic about how it’s controversies impacted American society since we still had time left before the bus arrived.

I like Kenny as much as the next guy. We even use to hang out a lot in elementary school and middle school days. He’s usually with Stan’s gang on the rare occasions I hang out with them, but I would never say we were super close. Kenny is someone who everyone likes, even if they don’t want to. Despite his family background and what he likes to do in his spare time, no one can really judge him. Or at least kids who have grown up with him can’t.

Plus, he’s in two of my classes and lunch. One of which I sit right next to him. So, while we have idle chit chat on most days, and I do refer to him as a friend, he not someone I really talk to unless I see him. 

And as much as I like Kenny, having him as a partner, who hasn’t even read the book, will be, as I figured, completely useless for this project. 

 

“You got all your things, Sparky?” He asked as we strolled towards the bus. 

I raised my eyebrows in question, “Sparky?” Why do people give me such strange nicknames?

“You know, you spent all your time on that website, and your hair is pretty spiky. So, it just kind of mixes together?” If people actually face palmed, I would have done it right then and there.

“Why do I even bother talking to you?”

“Cause you love me, obviously.” I didn’t even have to muster a fake laugh, it just came right out.

“Yep, you caught me. How’d you know?”

He looked down at me. He had an expression that told he was too pleased with himself. 

“Everyone wants me, some just take their time realizing.” I elbowed him as he laughed.

“Hey, there’s twitchy and Kinny.” Oh god. There’s only one person who still calls me that. I don’t even have my ticks that much anymore! We both turned to see the only and only Eric Cartman. Followed by Stan and Kyle. 

While Stan and Kyle pretty much stayed the same since our childhood, only now shaving their facial hair. Cartman had a major change. His personality is still shit, but he physically lost a lot of weight, not enough to be skinny or even “normal” size, but a size that is good for sports. Because not only is it fat, he now has muscle underneath it.  
Though I doubt it’s not a lot of muscle, it is undoubtedly there. And even with everyone growing much taller over the past few years, he still could not surpass his friends, still being the shortest of his group.

“Did you guys stay after school for the English homework?” Stan asked as they came to a standstill in front of us.

“Yea, we did. And you guys?”

“Yea, Cartman and I are in the same boat.”

Kyle piped up, “I’m just here for the emotional support Stan has to go through with this piece of shit.” We all knew he was referring to Cartman. They were probably already pissed at each other before approaching us.

“Hey! Fuck you, Jew.” He never changed. Not one bit. “Uh, so anyways, before this douche interrupted.” Interrupted what? “I heard you guys professing your love for each other. I always had a feeling about you Tweek, but I’m surprised your making the moves on Kinny.”  
Kill me now. Anyone please.

“No? I’m not sure where you got that from?” I don’t like arguing against him, why does he always do this.

“Hey, hey. I don’t judge.” He flung his arm around my shoulders, pulling me closer. He leaned down, in a hushed tone said, “But he’ll probs only want to take your virginity though. This man can’t stand relationships for too long.”

“Ah, wha-no!” I pulled away. “That’s not what’s going on here!”

“Oh, but you are a virgin then. As figures.” I can proudly say I hate Eric Cartman with a burning passion.

Kyle and Stan thankfully popped in before I could utter a word, which sadly none would have been uttered since my mind went blank. I can’t handle confrontations like this, not unless I’m really angry or passionate about it. Which I am neither at the moment, more so embarrassed than anything else.

“Leave him alone.”

“Just cause you are, Cartman, doesn’t mean you have to be a prick.”

“ME? A virgin! Ha, please, boys. You’ve already seen the evidence.”  
They all cringed. Dear god, I do not want to know what they had to witness.

Kenny gave Cartman a quizzical look, “we never saw your face though, it could have been any guy.” Saw his face? In what? Oh, Jesus.  
Before Cartman could even retort, Stan and Kyle started to drag the fuming man-child away.

“Sorry guys, we have to head out.” Kyle called back. They obviously just didn’t want to deal with him messing with me anymore. “If there was more room I’d drive you two, but this fatso takes up the whole backseat.” Stan waved, looking apologetic. At least someone seemed to slightly care.  
Even with them some ways off now, I could still hear them bickering.

A sigh of relief let my mouth as I began to trudge towards the bus, Kenny by my side. 

We both sat in the back, moments later others began to file into the bus. Both of us passing time on our phones. I sent a message to Craig to meet up with me later at work.

I’m not sure about Kenny, but I’m still slightly ticked off about how Cartman always tries to rile things up. Kenny most likely was used to it, being that they have been together since we were children.

When the bus engine revved up, shaking all the students as it began to roll its way onto the main road, Kenny finally spoke up.

“So, you’re still a virgin, huh?” Really? Really! This again?

But speaking honestly, “It’s not a surprise, is it?” I barely talk to any girls, so it’s a bit obvious. Not to mention, it’s me we are talking about. No one would want me.

“I suppose not. But everyone has their dirty little secrets, don’t they?”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?”

He shrugged, “Nothing really.” I noticed he had two headphones in, how is he able to talk to me while listening to music? It’s kind of annoying when people do that…

“You crushin’ on anyone then?” He’s suddenly nosy, isn’t he?

Now that is a real question though. Am I “crushin’” on anyone? The only person who comes to mind is someone I wish wouldn’t. For so, so many reasons, I wish he wouldn’t come to mind when I think about this.

“Not really…”

His eyebrows arched, “No one at all? Okay well how about attractive?” Again, the first person who comes to mind shouldn’t.

To be fair, many people at my school are attractive in their own way. I’m not someone who is afraid to say if a guy is generally attractive, since finding someone appealing is human nature. Just because you find someone appealing doesn’t mean you want to bang them. Kind of like Kenny for example, who I would consider attractive, and I’m sure that’s the consensus too. 

“There’s many people who are, so that’s a bit difficult.”

“Mmmh, okay, how about I’ll list some names and you say yes or not.”

“That’s a bit much.”

He chuckled. “Well I guess you can I’m shocked though. I took you as the type to always have a crush on someone.”

“I’m sorry to have not been up to your expectations.”

“What a serious response!” He patted my knee and replaced his attention back to his phone.

The whole thing with Craig. This imaginary thing I have going on is a lot for me to handle. It’s just one question after another. Too many things I don’t understand about myself.  
It’s just too much. I don’t like thinking about it. I don’t like what it means.

Kenny is a trustworthy person. I know that from experience. I know he doesn’t open his mouth about things to others unless he feels it’s extremely important to break that promise.

Is he someone who would understand? Even if he doesn’t, I think he would listen to all I’d have to say.

Maybe saying it out loud to someone will help straighten my thoughts. Maybe it’s just all a misunderstanding of my own feelings towards Craig. He’s my best friend. I’m grateful for him, I treasure him. Of course, I love him. Who doesn’t love their best friends? 

But just what kind of “love” is this, even to go as far as calling it love is much.

Whatever these feelings are, I don’t want them. They are difficult.

What if I’m just confusing them with what people normally feel towards their best friends?

And even if they are what I think they might be, where would that lead me? I’d just hit a dead end and be miserable anyways.

I can’t talk to Craig about this. Token and Clyde are out of the question. So maybe Kenny will…

“Hey, Kenny…” 

“Tweek.” Oh? I look at him, and he’s staring right back with curiosity.

“Huh?”

He points out the window, “Isn’t this your stop?”

Glancing around the houses, I could see we were on my street. When did we get here?

I could already feel my face burning in embarrassment, “Ah! Thank you, sorry. Uh, see ya’ then.” I shuffled off the bus.

What a mess I am. I couldn’t even say what I wanted, maybe it was for the better. I’m probably making this all a much bigger deal in my head than it really is anyways.

“Tweek! Wait!” Off the bus came Kenny.

What.

“Why’d you get off?”

“You seemed like you were about to say something serious. I’m curious.” Oh god, now all the pressure is definitely on me. I gripped the bottom on my shirt, rubbing it between my fingers. I hate fidgeting, yet here I am, doing it as I always do.

How am I supposed to say this without sounding like a weirdo?

“I, um… The whole liking someone thing… I think there might be someone…” Wow, this is incredibly embarrassing. I chanced looking up, and he was absolutely gleaming.

“Ha! I knew it! Who is it? Come on, tell me, pleeeease.” He inched closer.

God, I can’t. “I don’t really want to say, but it’s just difficult because they aren’t exactly a girl…” Why am I doing this? Is this a mistake telling him?

“So, a boy?” His voice sounded a bit softer.

“Um, yeah. But, the thing is I never had strong feelings for anyone before. Especially for a boy. Actually, never a boy. Ugh, I now this is really weird, I’m so sorry. You can just forget about it.” How fast was I talking? I just wanted to leave. I want to hide in my bed, take a nap, and forget about this day.

He pulled on my arm before I could try to make my escape.

“Hey, hey, hey. Nothin’ wrong with that. You know I’m bi, right? So, you can talk to me.”

Eh? “Really?” I wasn’t really expecting that. I’ve only ever heard stories about him with girls. I’ve also never seen him with a guy either. I mean yeah he flirts with everyone, but I just assumed that was a giant joke. I mean I’m sure it still is, but some guys he’s flirted with could have been the real deal.

“Really. If you’re confused on what you are that’s fine. Trust me, I’ve been there. Have you tried to figure it out with some research before?”

“What do you mean?

“Like maybe reading articles, searching up porn or something.” How can he talk about that stuff so casually, dear lord.

“I mean a little bit… But all that stuff is different from real life. How can I ever know?” I must sound so stupid.

“I get ya. If you ever want I can hook you up with someone an-“

“No, no, no, no, no, no! Sorry, but I’m not hooking up with someone I don’t know. They could have some of disease or something. I don’t want to take the chances.” He looked thoughtful, as if he was trying to come up with a formula to fix this. “Plus, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable enough to do something like that with a stranger.” Not like a stranger would even think I’m attractive enough to want to do dirty stuff with anyways.

“Well, how about me then?”

“Huh.”

Did I mishear? He did not just suggest that.

“I mean if you wanted, it wouldn’t be a big deal or anything. And of course, I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“You’re joking, right!?” 

“No, dead serious.” I had no idea what to say. I don’t even know how I was looking him in the eyes right now. This is all way too much for me. I feel like I’m about to start twitching. Not good. I even took my medication this morning.

Kenny in turn, gave his usual smile and began to turn towards his part of the town. 

“Think about it, Tweek. Even if you aren’t interested in doing that, you can always talk to me about this stuff. I’m always here to help. See you around.” He gave a single wave before fully turning away.

 

Why did I get myself into this?


	3. Deep Sleep

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Craig's POV

He told me to be here before close. I did want to come around six, but my parents decided tonight was a great night to go out to dinner. Unfortunately for me, that meant less time with Tweek, and more time regretting my decision to have picked up that application. I should have known once I told him about it he wouldn’t let it down. 

The little beeper went off, indicating my arrival inside the coffee shop. It was spotless, figures it would be. Rarely anyone came around an hour before closing, I’m sure all the workers who closed, especially Tweek was thankful for that. 

Tweek was one of those hard workers who put his all into it. Even more so because it was his parent’s shop. He knows everything and anything about all the products and machines. It is particularly interesting when his parents pick up new bakery products. He practices until he gets down the exact second they should be in the oven and changes the recipe at times to make them even better. 

It’s adorable really, seeing him do what he loves. Of course, he tells me all the time he hates it and wants to be free of coffee shops once we graduate. But just looking in his eyes when he makes coffee and sweets, anyone can tell that being here was his calling.

“I’ll be just a sec!” He called from the backroom. He was probably washing all the remaining dirty dishes.

“Just me!” I wondered over to one of the tables that didn’t have the chairs flipped onto them.

Tweek still popped his head out just to confirm it was indeed me who was there. “I’m surprised you made it.”

“Me too.” He smiled and was gone again. He was referring to my family’s night out. When my parents like to eat out, they take their sweet ass time. So much time that Ruby and I want to die of boredom. Especially with the no phones rule while eating. Such bull.  
It’s nice and all when we have things to talk about, but we all don’t do squat shit with our lives. So conversations die pretty quick for us. 

“Aaaahh, sorry about that. It was pretty busy earlier, but the dishes were the last things that needed done.” Thought so.

“Did you finish them?”

“Yep. But more importantly, did you bring it?” He sat heavily in the seat across from me with a sigh of relief. Maybe that’ll be me once I start working too.  
I tugged out the now super crumpled application. I probably should have taken better care of it. Oh well.

“You gotta pen?” He slipped out of the chair to grab one from the counter, giving me a quick chance to look him over. Same as ever. Exactly what I loved.  
This time, he did not return to his seat, rather hovering above me, waiting for me to make my move. 

I grabbed the pen out of his hand, lowering it to the application. It was all pretty easy. Full name, age, previous work experience, educational level, time availability, and contact info. He only had to make a comment when we got to the work experience section. Instead of leaving it blank he told me to put “N/A” for not available, apparently employers like that better.

Really, I could have filled it out myself without him babysitting me, but he made me feel much more at easy about it all.

“Good, good. I think we have time for you to turn it in tonight too.”

“Tonight? It’s almost ten.” It’s already late enough.

“Yea, they close at one so if we leave right from here we’ll make it there in not even an hour.”

“I really don’t want to do it now.”

“Well suck it up, sunshine. It’s better to get it over with as soon as possible.” He rested a hand on my shoulder, giving me a look telling me he knows he’s in the right. God damn him.

“Fine, but it’s cold out.”

“I think we’ll live.” I huffed out a breath, crossing my arms. Slowly I slouched into the metal chair. 

Time truly flies when the only thing to do is focus on Tweek. He scurried around the small café. Making sure everything was fine for his parents in the morning. He’d hum to himself, at times even sing along with a song on the radio if he liked it enough. He was cute no doubt about that. Everything about him, I absolutely adored. His hair was always unruly. How he made slightly larger sweaters look good on him was beyond me. Everything to his small hands to the dark circles under his eyes. Everything fit him so perfectly.  
Like the world knew this kid couldn’t ever look normal, that it just didn’t fit him. But as you can see, I’m totally fine with that. 

 

“You ready?” He asked, the store keys jingling in his hand.

“Not really.” He laughed, being the proper gentleman, he is to let me step into the freezing night first. Each step I took told me that I had stayed slouched for far too long, too fascinated with the blond to notice the ache in my spine.

The walk felt like years, but at least Tweek was by my side. He rattled on about his day. About the rude asses that always came in, and the two people who gave him five dollar tips. Before I knew it, we had arrived. How can something feel so long yet so short? I didn’t have much time to think about it before Tweek pushed me through the doors.  
The hostess looked up with a smile, already grabbing menus. “Hello, welcome to Kegan’s. Two?”

“Ah, no, actually I need to turn this in.” I held out the application. It took her a few seconds to register what it was before nodding and taking it.

“Thank you, I’ll hand this in.”

“Thanks.”

If she wanted to say anything else, I’ll never know, because I was out that door in a flash. 

It is now done and over with. Time to not care anymore and get into a warm bed. More so, Tweek was definitely staying over by the looks of his bookbag so all the better to look forward to my many blankets.

Both being shivering bodies, we walked briskly home.

As we approached the front door I asked, “I’m going to make some hot chocolate, you want me to get you coffee?”

He smiled, opening the door and kicking off his shoes. 

“Yea, sure, thanks. I’ll be back down in a moment.”

“I can just bring it up.” He was already heading to the stairs.

“It’s fine, I’ll just be a sec.” He was gone. I sighed. He never lets me do nice things for him. He was probably just running to the toilet as always. The guy needs to lay off drinking so much, no wonder why he has to piss every two seconds.

Of course, I think this as I go to make him more coffee. But hey, that’s me, hypocritical Craig.

I didn’t even have to make it into the kitchen to hear the high-pitched voices of two very annoying little girls. One wasn’t so bad, but she was slowly becoming so.  
I completely ignored the crackling witches, heading straight to the counter where we keep the coffee maker. Other than my dad who uses it on his bad mornings, Tweek is about the only person who actively uses this machine. We really have it more for him than us. I had actually asked my mom to buy it when our old one broke. Since dad rarely uses it they didn’t plan to replace it until I kept going on about how much I wanted another.

Tweek is so spoiled and he doesn’t even know it.

“Just going to ignore us, asshole?” My dearest, sweetest sister asked.

“That’s my plan.”

Karen spoke up, “You just broke our hearts.”

She was a very good kid surprisingly, from coming from the McCormick family. Well, Kenny isn’t so bad either, but she in comparison is an angel. Or at least use to be, until my sister tainted her with her evil ways. 

She continued on, “Is Tweek here?” Here it comes.

“What do you think?” I heard grunts behind me, they were probably nudging each other around.

My hot chocolate was made a lot quicker than the coffee. The machine really enjoys taking its time to heat up the water. After what felt like five years passed the smallest of coffee and water mix streamed out of the machine into the coffee pot. My parents sure did invest in the cheapest machine they could find.

Tweek finally joined us. The girls were giggling to themselves while they whispered stupid jokes probably about Tweek. Not bad ones of course, because they weren’t that mean to him.

“Hey.” He greeted them. I’m sure they perked up real fast.

He shuffled his way over to my side, watching the coffee continuously pour.

It wasn’t even thirty seconds after Tweek reached the counter that my sister was right next to him.

“How’ve you been?”

“Fine. You?” She scooted closer ever so slightly. She’s becoming more confident I see.

“Pretty good, way better now. Could be great though.”

“How so?”

“If you say my name?” God, she’s so dumb.

I knew without looking Tweek rolled his eyes, “Tricia. You happy?” She smiled with a nod, resting a hand against his arm. Woah there. She’s becoming too confident now. God, I hate how she has the same tastes as me.

“You should say it again, no one ever calls me it.” She tightened her grip. Can you not?

I smacked her hand, trying my best to avoid hitting Tweek as well. “Yea, cause it’s an ugly name, Ruby.”

She didn’t even like her own name, she was the one who wanted everyone to call her by her middle name. Just cause she likes how Tweek says her name doesn’t mean she should have him say it every time she sees him. Not like he helps playing along with her little game.

Tweek swung around to face me. His eyebrows furrowed, he had that face on. One I knew all too well. Just the look in his eyes told me if he were a parent I’d be sent to the corner right now.

“Stop hitting your sister!” 

“I’m not.” 

“You just did. You do it all the time, stop being a bully.” Fuck, even when he’s mad he’s adorable.

And anyways, it’s not all the time, it’s only when you’re here. “I’m not, I barely do it.”

“You’re such a liar.” He turned away. Ruby looked overjoyed that he was sticking up for her. I cannot let her win.

“Hey, okay, I’ll stop.”

“Yea, you better.” He grabbed my mug of hot chocolate.

“Or what?”

He gently blew on my drink before taking a sip. It was still probably scolding but he was used to it. He smiled as he removed the mug from his lips, glancing up at me.

“Or I’ll beat the shit out of you again.” I leaned onto the counter, watching the last drops of liquid drip into the coffee pot.

“Oh, we’re starting this now, are we?” He snickered, heading out of the kitchen. 

“I’ll see you later girls, as for you, bring my coffee up once you make it.” What an ass. Getting all smug because he one time slightly won in a pretty equal fighting match we had in like third grade.

Both of us are weak as fuck now cause we don’t do shit so I don’t know how that’d go.

“And there he goes.”

“What a shame.” They snickered. I rolled my eyes, another battle dealt with satan, yet she still has not been defeated.

Ignoring their gossip, I made quick to finish his coffee. By the mood he is in I bet he’d want a sweeter cup today. Grabbing the French Vanilla creamer, I poured well over half of the cup with it. Making sure to pour some in a spoon to sip for myself before mixed the coffee and it together. 

Once I put everything away I stood in the doorway, glaring at my poor excuse for a sister. When she finally noticed my presence still there I gave her a quick flip of the bird. I’m sure she returned it but I didn’t bother to stay long enough to find out.

Climbing the stairs, I could hear the lightest of hums coming from the narrow crack of my open door. Peering in, I could see Tweek was on the bed. Imagine a teen girl texting her crush. Laying on her stomach and kicking her legs around in the air all happy like. Now imagine that with Tweek, and that’s exactly how he looked. Now I hope it wasn’t a crush he was texting, which I doubt it is. If anything, he is on some kind of social media or texting Token or Clyde. 

The soft thump of the door closing caught his attention. The rhythmic humming came to an end and his legs hit the bed with dead weight.

“Took you long enough, butler.”

“You’re lucky you’re my friend.” 

“Am I lucky? Maybe the opposite.”

“Well then I guess I’ll keep the coffee.”

“Well then I guess I’ll keep your hot chocolate.”

“Which I’m sure you already half drank.” He stretched himself to the nightstand, straining himself to look inside the cup.

“You got me there, sorry. Want me to make you some more?” I shook my head, taking a sip of his coffee instead. We switched mugs, and just as he said, mine was half gone. I put it on the desk’s edge, giving me the free hands to shove my old window open.

“Can you toss me my smokes?” He made a face, but tossed them to me anyways.  
Taking a sip, first he said, “You should really quit that.”

“I know.” He really fears for my health. What an angel. “It’s not like I’ll be kissing anyone any time soon anyways.”

He frowned. “That’s really not the point…” 

I lit the stick anyways, leaning out the window. Long ago I had busted out the screen for some game I was playing with the others. If I remember correctly we would take turns throwing space ships out of the window then run downstairs and act like our ships crash landed on a foreign planet. Thus, started the game humans vs aliens. 

Good times.

The chill of the night seeped into my room. The rustling of sheets told me Tweek was already shielding himself from the fall air. I took turns taking drags from my cig and sipping on my hot chocolate.

Most would think I’d be having a heyday right now from the oh so infamous indirect kissing via drinks cliché. I’ve probably indirectly kissed Tweek twenty times tonight. But I had long got over that little excitement. We are together too often and share too many things for that to constantly give me butterflies. Don’t get wrong though. I fucking love it. I enjoy being close enough to Tweek to share his drinks he’d otherwise be worried of letting others share. He won’t share stuff like that with just anyone, you have to be pretty close to him to share food or drinks with. Even my sister isn’t close enough to him for that, and she’s known him as long as I have. Speaking of her.

“You know, I’m pretty sure Ruby has a crush on you.” I looked back just in time to see his face scrunch up in displeasure. Good. Just the way I like it.

“No, I really don’t think that’s it. I think she’s just trying to mess with you by messing with me.”

“If that’s your way of denying the facts then go ahead and think that.” He groaned in response. I stubbed my cigarette, tossing it into the backyard. Closing the window, which I’m sure will one day break when I slam it shut. I shut the curtains as well and began my nightly ritual of basically getting naked. 

Another thing I appreciated with Tweek, and even with Clyde and Token, is they don’t give a fuck if I’m walking around in just my briefs. Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t do that at their houses. I at least have the courtesy of wearing PJ pants when I sleep over. While sure I’m a bit more self-conscious at times with my nudity when alone with Tweek, in the end I know he doesn’t think twice about it. To him it’s just another old day with his half naked best friend.

I rolled onto the bed, partially going onto the blond who squeaked and wiggled to the edge on the other side. I grabbed the pillow from under his head to put under mine, stuffing my face into its center. I sighed into it, feeling my heated breath against the fabric.

I felt something warm rub across my midback, sending shivers through my whole body.

“You’ve gained weight.” Tweek muttered. He pressed his fingers into in skin as he rubbed against my ribs diagonally to my spin. Even if I gained weight I’m sure he could still feel each dip between my bones. 

My dad claims I get it from his side of the family, saying he was just as skinny when he was my age. But I’ve seen enough pictures to know, while my dad was just as tall, he had more fat on him than Clyde does. And let’s be honestly, I’m pretty sure he’s not my real dad, but I’m way passed caring if he is or not. As far as I need to know he’s been my father figure my whole life and that’s that.  
As for my mom, she was fairly thin when she was younger, but even then, she still had a lot of meat on her bones, Ruby seems to be taking after her there.  
Either way no matter my genetics, everyone claims all the junk food I eat will eventually catch up to me by thirty. I don’t particularly care either way. 

“Have I?” I muffled into the pillow. The friction dulled, it felt as if his fingertips were feathers dusting across my back. It felt amazing, I haven’t had my back rubbed in ages.

“Maybe your metabolism is finally slowing down.” I let out a deep hum in both response to his words and his hand. He’d make the perfect wife.

Minutes passed and the light rub turned into a small massage, then afterwards only a single finger lingered, now tracing patterns into my skin. My drowsy mind had barely noticed when the patterns changed into something more than just doodles. Going over the shapes he traced made imaginary letters. I couldn’t quite catch onto the words he wrote until he repeated spelled one. The first one was no doubt an S, after words were two lines crossing so that had to have been a T, I had an issue with the third letter, but the next two were I and P.

I turned my head, inhaling fresh air, eyes still closed. I asked, “Stripe?” It made me smile. I miss all my old guinea pigs so much. Too bad my parents won’t let me have another. Still pissed at them over that.

“Correct.” He continued with different words. Space, coffee, my own name, his name. It was cute but these were super easy.

“Give me a difficult one.” He hummed in thought, wiping my back as if he was erasing what he had just written.

The first two times I had to have him do it over. He kept alternating the letters from being capitalized to not, throwing me off even though it was a short word. H-o-?-s-?. The third time was the charm when he did the entire word in caps. Horse. Christ, I struggled with that?

He laughed at my stupidity, once again erasing his invisible ink.

“Why horse? Is it because I have a dick as big as a horses?” He forced out a laugh. Witty, I know. I’m right next to Clyde on the throne of jokes. 

“No way in hell, that’s only in your dreams.”

“How’d you know? You been looking?” He slapped my back. Even as a joke, he did not hold back and boy did it sting.

“Of course not, just making a logical guess. Haven’t you heard? The more of an ass you are the smaller your dick?"

“That doesn’t even make sense.”

“Yes, it does, so shut up.” I really liked the thought of Tweek checking me out though. If only. But maybe I liked the thought too much because junior was starting to twitch. Time to change course I guess.

“Well, thanks for the back massage, much appreciated, you want one too since you also gained weight?”

“Hey! It wasn’t much. Why are you so mean?” He didn’t even look different. I mean yea he had a bit of a gut, but he wasn’t fat either.

“You know I was kidding.” He pouted, flopping himself down and faced away from me. I moved onto my side to face his back, as tempted as I was to lift shirt to give myself a bit more skin service, I didn’t. Instead I ran my hand over his shirt. No chance in hell my shitty ass back massage was going to feel as good as his did, but hey, a massage is a massage. 

We laid in silence for a while, only the sound of fabric moving against my hand and his breathing filled my ears. That is until he spoke, “Halloween is coming up in like five days. You doin’ anything?” He asked, finally moving to lay on his stomach. He looked at me with curiosity and I was sad to disappoint.

“Probably not this year, I don’t feel like doing anything.”

“Same, plus it’s on a week day so I may be working anyways.”

“Clyde probably wants to do something.”

“Maybe he can just hand out candy to the kids this year? I think we are getting a bit old.”

“True, I’ll have to check in on him about it. But since he hasn’t said anything this year then maybe he doesn’t plan anything either.”

“Oh right, I forgot how every year he’s talking about it like two months leading up to it.” God, it was so annoying. I did not miss his pre-halloween hype at all.

Almost as if he knew we had spoken his name, Tweek and I both received a message in the group chat from him. A message about hanging out tomorrow.

“You work tomorrow?”

“No, so I should be able to go to Tokens for the night. I close Sunday night though, but that shouldn’t be a problem at all.”

My hand was growing tired, how did he do this for so long? “Cool, just message him saying you can go, can you text him from my phone too?”

“Sure.” Yes, we were close enough he knew my passcode and even had his finger print registered in my phone, we all did actually. We trusted each other enough to not go through each other’s personal shit. Though I didn’t have too much to hide mine.

He shifted onto his stomach and lifted himself to rest on his elbows so he could text. My hand slowly came to a stop. I continued to rest it where it was on him. I just hope he didn’t notice it stopping, and even if he did he didn’t say anything. Rather he just stayed on his phone from that point. Eventually he turned off the lamp light and in my constant swirling thoughts of him I began to drift. In my state of half consciousness I felt him flip around. Naturally I began to retract my hand, yet he stopped it, pulling it back to its previous spot, now on his stomach. After that I was gone, dreams sweeping me away from my lovely reality.

-

It was four-ish when Token finally pulled up. Earlier in the day Tweek had already gone home to shower and grab new clothes for the night, returning shortly after to wait for Token. 

To my surprise it the dimwitted one was not with him. Which was my mistake for not realizing sooner. When it finally hit me that shot gun was free for the taking Tweek was already halfway down the path, jogging to the front of the car. That bastard.

“Oh no you don’t, you fuck.” The advantage of being tall as fuck? Having the longest legs ever. 

I was there just in time to stop Tweek from opening the door. I slammed my body fully against him to avoid him from opening the door. Both of our hands smacking each other way from the handle, both of us throwing cusswords and names around. He pushed against me away from the car while I did just the opposite.

“Fuck off Tweek, it’s mine.”

“Not today, asshole.” He was basically growling at me. Yes today, you butthurt piece of shit. 

Not paying attention to my free hand which was set on the roof of the car, he quickly took hold of it, biting into it just enough to leave little teeth indents in my skin.

“What the fuck?” I instantly backed away to inspect the damage. He laughed breathlessly, quickly jumping into the car before I could process what he just did.

He even locked the door as I approached it. Incredible.

Making sure to give him my meanest glare and a good view of my middle finger, I resigned to sitting in the back seat.

Getting into the car, defeated, I was welcomed with the two laughing as punishment.

“That was almost as bad as when you and Clyde fought for it that one time!” Token was dying over it apparently. When Clyde and I once got into an all-out brawl for the front seat. We were on the ground beating the ever-loving shit out of each other. In the end neither of us got what we wanted. While we were too busy being preoccupied with punching each other, Tweek had come and snuck into the front seat without either of us noticing.

They both began to laugh even harder at the memory. 

“You guys are losers.” I slouched in the seat, feeling the teeth indents on my arm.  
I was ready to go already.

Tweek turned to look at me with a triumphant grin. “Aaw, did we make the baby upset? Do you want a kiss to feel better?” He was making kissy faces to me. He was spending way too much time with Clyde.

And yes, please, I would love a kiss from you actually. “Fuck off.”

“You’re shit.”

“Speaking of shit,” I turned my attention to Token, who was finally starting to drive. “where’s Clyde?”

He glanced at me through the center mirror, “He’s on a date with Bebe again. She was very avid they went to the movies tonight for some reason. He said he’d be over later though.”

“Ah.” 

Tweek and Token began to talk. About what? I don’t know. I stopped caring when my mind begun to drift back to our little fight outside the car. I moved myself from the middle seat to the seat behind Tweek’s. 

Thinking back to how I was right up against him, how our bodies were rubbing together a bit too roughly. I let my guard own a little too much, and enjoyed it more than I should have. While I was good at controlling myself most of the time, a slip up or two was fine. As long as I’m not noticed.  
I’m glad that in the end I had the backseat to myself. It made it perfect to adjust myself to make things a little less obvious.

 

By the time we had hit Token’s both my body and mind had calmed down. We went to his game room and played games for a while, even ordering food. Clyde could always have the leftovers since he’d surely be hungry again by the time he’d make it here. For the most part, it felt like any other day at Token’s beside Clyde being M.I.A.  
Time ticked by and Tweek grew tired. According to him he only slept for an hour last night. But now his lack of sleep was catching up to him. We convinced him to quit the game and move onto the futon in the back of the room to sleep while Token and I continued to play different shooters. He was out quicker than you could say his name. 

 

Three whole hours passed until the fateful text of Clyde needing a ride came. For someone making a big deal of buying a truck, he surely was taking his time getting it.  
Token was off to pick up the dumbass and I was left alone to my own thoughts and a sleeping Tweek.

Seeing his sleeping face was enough to force me off the couch to get a closer look. He must have really been out because his mouth was open just enough for drool to escape, dripping onto the futon cushion. 

My phone was in my hands before I could think about it, taking pictures of him. My adorable crush. I had more than enough pictures of him sleeping. I’ve taken more than I can remember taking. If anything, these pictures were what I wanted to hide on my phone. I had a little too many to call a joke.  
In my slight hurry though, I didn’t recognize the sound of my camera being on. After the first three pictures he scrunched his face, burying it further into the futon before stretching and resting on his back.

I hesitated for a minute. With no more movement or signs of consciousness, I switched the sound off and resumed my photo session.  
And that’s when I should have stopped, when that urge hit me.

The compulsion that I always feel, that I usually control. But something about now, something about Tweek was too much. I stopped thinking. This boy fogged every crevice of my mind. All I craved was him, someone I could never have, someone I had to love from the sidelines and hope these feelings were never noticed.  
My body knew what it was doing before I did. It had a plan and I lost control.

Half climbed over him, one foot on the floor for support while my other leg rested on the edge of the futon. I placed one hand beside Tweek’s head, my other coming up to caress his cheek. 

My voice came out barely above a soft whisper, “Tweek?” He hardly stirred. My heart was pounding.

Once before I had done this, years ago when I first figured out these mixed-up feelings for him. Yet this was more nerve wracking. My body tingled, my stomach with butterflies. I know it’s wrong, yet here I am inches from his lips. I scanned over his face. His cheeks felt like a peach. God, this boy.  
His lips were dry, only slightly glistening at the corner where his drool once dripped from. Even with his chapped lips, even with the slight salvia there, he looked even more attractive. 

He was so stunning. He was so…

Our lips connected. Barely. Only the slightest pressure as to not wake him. Pin pricks came in waves from my lips down to my toes. It was getting hot, I just wanted to move, to let loose, not be gentle, not be in control. Was I even in control anymore?  
But I could not do what I so badly wanted to. I absolutely could not wake him.  
I pushed myself back up to see him better. Still asleep, still angelic.

That was it, that should have fed my craving. But it was endless and temptation won over once again.

I kissed him again, this time not feather light, but not too rough. The room felt more heated. I wanted to die this was heaven. It was-

“Hey, you want t-”

Silence.

Token’s voice rang in my ears. 

I wanted to jump out of my skin. I wanted to pull away, pretend I was never near him. Act as if none of that didn’t just happen.  
But I couldn’t. My eyes unglued themselves from my shocked friend back down to Tweek.

God decided to bless me today.

He was still asleep. Somehow, someway. This boy did not wake up to find me on top of him.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Slowly easing myself off the futon, but by the time I was clear of waking the blond, Token had vanished.

 

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing could describe what hit me.  
Embarrassment. Regret. Shame. Worry. Fear?

My heart was now pounding. Fast. For a whole different reason now. My once heated skin felt ice cold. I stumbled to the couch. My breath shaking as I released it. I know I was breathing, but god it did not feel like it. My mind on overdrive. So many things could go wrong. So many. I couldn’t even think. Numb is the only way to describe it. I tried to replay what had just occurred in my head, yet everything shut down. It felt as if my skin all over my body had tightened.

I cupped my face.

I needed to leave. I needed to get out of here.

And that’s exactly what I did. I grabbed all my shit and booked it. 

Nothing. Absolutely nothing was crossing my mind. Only the word fuck endlessly fell out of my mouth. I really fucked up. I really, reall-

“Craig! Wait!”

I was barely out of Token’s drive way when Clyde called out to me. Naturally, I ignored it, making my step a bit faster. I let the gate slam shut as I briskly walked towards town. 

“Dude!” Fuck this guy for being in sports. He should not have been able to catch up with me that fast. “I said wait!” He grabbed my shoulder. Hard. Spinning me around to face him. “What the fuck is going on?”

I couldn’t even bother to yell, but my voice came out harshly. “Nothing! Everything is just dandy!” 

“What Token just said… I, what happened?”

“What he told you, that’s what.” Whatever the hell he told Clyde. I don’t even want to know. “Just leave me alone.” I was back on my path towards home. Nothing was going to stop me.

“Craig, stop. Please.” Except that. Why did he have to sound so desperate?

“What? What else do you want to know?”

“Did you… Did you really kiss him? Tweek?” I couldn’t even look at him. This is the worse. I’m sure he was having just as much of a problem voicing it as I was from standing still.

I breathed out hot breath, fogging the air in front of me. “Yea. Yea, I did.”  
Silence.

I want to die.

“Do you guys have a… thing? Going on…” My heart ached at his words.

I turned, looking at him in the eyes. He was just as confused as I felt. 

“No. We don’t. It’s just me.” The cool air was seeping into my bones. I wanted to go home. I wiped my hand down my face, the stress setting in. “Yea, just me.” I sounded so defeated, but that’s exactly how I felt. Fuck.

Clyde shivered, wearing only his thin jersey. He searched the ground in thought. Both of us unsure what to do.

“Listen, Craig, let’s go back and talk about this. I, um, it’s fine. It’s-it’s not okay what happened if I’m getting the story straight, but it’s fine. You’re fine.”

I scanned his face, but just held a small frown with furrowed brows. He was biting on his lip, probably to keep the cold from making them chatter.

I took a hesitant step forward. He stared, waiting for me to take the lead, which I reluctantly did.

When we arrived at the door step he instructed me to stay there. He came out moments later with his winter jacket on. The smallest smile appeared on his lips.

Moments passed and neither of spoke. I found my pack of cigarettes and offered him one. I lit both and filling my lungs with the toxic smoke. I very much needed it right now.

He blew out a long breathe, examining the stick between his fingers as if it was the most interesting thing in the world.

“So,” he began, “how long have you have you had a thing for him?”

“Psh, maybe since end of middle school, early high school.” He stared dumbfounded.

“You hadn’t told me all this time?” He sounded hurt. Great. More on the plate I can’t finish.

I sighed, “Listen, I trust you, I do. But we are all friends, best friends. And I didn’t want to ruin that for all of us.”

His face morphed into so many expressions, finishing on puckered lips while taking a long drag.

“I’m so angry right now. And not because of this whole you and Tweek thing, but because you didn’t tell me.” I opened my mouth to speak but he continued anyways, “BUT, I’m going to keep my cool. Because I’m a nice, understanding friend.”

Oh lord.

“So just to be clear,” He continued, “you, ya know, kissed him?”

Wow I don’t like this one bit. “Yeah.”

“Token said he looked like he was sleeping.”

“He was.”

“That’s not good.”

“I know.”

“Um, do you do that often? Does he know?”

“No, just once before.” I sighed, rolling my neck to release the stress already building in the muscles. “And no, he doesn’t. Not at all, and he can’t know.”

“Gotcha.”

We both sucked on our cigarettes, he looked down at the lawn, while I looked up towards the stars.

“What about Token?” I asked. I didn’t want to ask, but his reaction didn’t seem too good. Here again who would be delighted to walk in on that?

“He's just shocked. I mean, I am too.” Yeah, understandable.

The static of the night took over. I had too much to say with too little words to use.

With our constant puffing on cigarettes they soon burned down to the butts.

Clyde stood, looking down at me and offering a hand. “Wanna go back in?” I probably shouldn’t. I probably really shouldn’t. This was all already enough. I really needed time to think over everything that had happened. 

Yet, I clasped his palm in mine anyway.

“You’ll probably have to talk to Token about this too, ya know?”

“I’m well aware.” The heat of the house swarmed us as we stepped in. “I just don’t want this to change how we all are. Tweek just can’t find out.” 

“It won’t. I promise.”

I didn’t know how well I could trust his words, but I had to put my trust into Token and Clyde. Especially if they aren’t shunning me, especially since I was putting moves on my sleeping friend. 

But, that’s to think about later. It was time to get this discussion over with and hopefully move on with this whole mess.  
A mess that I was completely at fault for. A mess that I will never be able to fully clean up, no matter how much bleach I try to use. There will be stains left over, that’s for sure.


	4. Rustling Sheets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tweek's POV

I felt restless. Tossing and turning, I failed to get comfy no matter the position I was in. I had one leg outstretched, propped against the window sill, my other hanging off the edge of my bed. The videos on my phone played endlessly, but none of it truly retaining in my head. 

This week had felt like forever. It was heavy and wearisome. The weight of it was fully hitting me. I was exhausted.

I focused all my free time on the English project. I would have been done with it in three days if I didn’t do it for ten minutes at a time before getting distracted for a bit online. It was a constant back and forth between my project and social media. 

Really, it’s the best way for me to study or work on papers. For most of my homework that is how I get it finished and that’s how I’ve done it for years now. In the end, I usually can’t put my full attention on anything related to school work outside of school for long periods of time, so it tends to take me a lot longer to get homework done than others.

With how everyone has been acting though, I didn’t mind wasting my time doing this everlasting back and forth process.

It started during the weekend. I woke up early enough for the house to be chilled from the morning air.

I should have figured something was off since instead of Craig sleeping beside me, he was nowhere to be found. In the game room at least. Rather, Clyde snored away on the couch we had all played video games on the night before. I must have slept through when he arrived, which is shocking, since he is the loudest of us all when it comes to gaming. 

I wandered to the kitchen where Token was mixing something in a bowl.

“You’re up early.” I said. He glanced over, his face softened from a harden expression. He must have had a hard time sleeping last night. Even with his features softening, the lack of sleep still rested heavily in his eyes, giving him a grumpy look.

“So are you. I’m making pancakes now, want to wake up the other two now since it takes them forever to get up?”

I stretched and tried to mumble out an okay. I didn’t get far from the kitchen before having to turn back.

“Where’s Craig?”

“He’s in the guest room.”

Guest room? That’s where Clyde usually sleeps. I brushed it off though, who knows what they were doing last night when I was asleep. There has been plenty of times when we have woken up to all of us sleeping in weird places or in strange positions.

I went to Clyde first, he woke up rather quickly today when he heard that the pancakes were already in the making. Craig on the other hand was how he always is. I didn’t go as far as to rip the covers off him this time. Today I only bothered him enough to know he would not be falling back asleep. 

A couple of pancakes and eggs were set out by the time I had returned downstairs. Token always did get things done quickly. Clyde being Clyde already had a plate full. Token was multitasking making his own and cooking the rest of the food. I waited until the next batch was ready to grab my plate. Soon after Craig joined us.

And that’s when everything felt off.

The air thickened. 

Those times people say they could cut the tension with a knife, well they aren’t wrong. It was as if suddenly jello filled the room. We could move, but it was thick. The whole space became dense. 

Humans are truly weird. Our bodies can sense things before we can begin to comprehend what is going on.

I brushed it off originally, as all of us being tired, it wasn’t unusual for us to not talk to each other when we eat breakfast. There’s been many of times with my instability that my head makes up things too. Really I was over thinking, I probably slept too much for once and was so well slept that it made me cranky. Which inadvertently felt like everyone else was as well.

But I was fine. I wasn’t even annoyed. I felt like how I always do.

I went on chowing down on my food like the rest of them. Everything was going on as normal, other than the random shift in the mood, which was all in my head anyways.  
Or so I thought.

I was getting full and was playing with a piece of egg still left. Craig, being the last to join us only got the scrapes. So once he finished his he reached over to take mine.  
I had no problem with it, if anything I’m glad he did because I would have felt bad wasting food.

The egg was almost to his plate when the sound of clattering silverware echoed through the room. The stinging noise rung in my ears. We all froze, if not jumping a bit from the sudden noise, and looked at Token. He was fuming. His gaze on Craig.

He stood. His voice was lower than usual, “Craig would you like to join me in the hallway.”

Craig seemed annoyed, but he let no emotion show on his face. He took a bite of the egg he had just stolen before shuffling into the hallway with Token right behind him.

I glanced at Clyde to see if he was just confused as I was. Instead of confusion, it seemed as if displeasure was there. 

“What’s going on with them?” I whispered. Their muffled voices carried in from the hallway, but not enough to understand.

He unglued his eyes from the doorway. The eye contact wasn’t even a full second. He shrugged his shoulders, focusing himself on his empty plate.  
We sat in silence.

I’m sure he was trying just as hard to hear what was going on as I was. 

Token, who mostly did most of the talking, must have felt at peace with what he had to say. The pattering of someone’s feet against the wooden floor drew closer to the kitchen. I didn’t get to see who it was because they stopped right outside the door.

Then, “Actually Craig, you know what? Everything really makes sense now. How did I not see i-” The pit-patting reversed its way. Along with it Token’s voice grew distant again, only to become a small mumble. 

I didn’t know what to do. Of course, I was curious beyond belief about what the hell was happening. But if Clyde wasn’t even trying to eavesdrop on the conversation right outside the door then I’m sure it’d be no good for me to try. What if it was about me? Did I do something wrong? No, because then I’d be the one getting yelled at. What if they were going to try to pull some kind of prank of me or something and they were just acting like they are arguing to set it up?

No, they aren’t like that, at least they know better not to do that to me. They know I don’t find that stuff funny. Plus, Craig doesn’t really like messing with people like that unless it’s Clyde. Clyde doesn’t seem worried though, if anything upset? Did something bad happen I wonder? But, Clyde’s nosy about everything so he’d be in on that conversation too. 

I rubbed my eyes, mostly because whatever was going on seemed like I was out of the loop, but also I still wasn’t fully awake. Wasn’t it too early for this?

I was so into my own head I didn’t even hear them approaching the kitchen. Clyde, who was on his phone, glanced up at them as I twisted around to see them both laughing about something.

What the hell?

Craig didn’t quite make it to his seat when he stopped next to me. He poked at my hand which somehow had made its way up to my hair. “Stop that.” I released it. Looking between Token and Craig, neither gave no sign of what had happened moments ago.

There’s no way I could have imagined all that. No way in hell. I was afraid to say anything though. I didn’t want to bring up something if they just got over it. Maybe I’d bring it up later whenever I get a chance to be alone with one of them.

Of course, that one was Craig.

I didn’t actually bring it up until a few days later, when there was still something off about our group. None of them seemed to be really fighting anymore. It was just weird. Like an unspoken conversation was going on between them. 

Even our group chat became a ghost. No silly pictures sent, no complaining about stupid stuff. It even felt a bit like Craig was avoiding me. We didn’t text or send snaps as much as we usually did. So by Thursday I convinced myself that there was no way I was just making up this strange atmosphere and that something had to be done. 

I caught Craig after school and asked. His response was the lamest and no doubt biggest lie ever. 

“We didn’t really have a fight,” He said, he took a puff from his cigarette. “He was just pissed ‘cause he thought I was cheating on the game we played that night.”

Whatever they were talking about in the hallway did not sound like a video game spat. Anyways, why hide it from us if that was really what was going on?

I didn’t push it though. It immediately got me in a sour mood that he was lying to me and that Token and Clyde knew too. Craig’s response told me more than enough, they were purposefully keeping me in the dark.

Maybe it wasn’t even that big of a deal? Maybe it was something so minor that they didn’t feel the need to involve me because to them it didn’t really matter. If it didn’t matter though, then why hide it?

So this is what I was thinking about, lying in my bed on a Friday night. I didn’t feel like doing anything. No phone game or tv show could fully catch my attention. 

I closed all the apps that were open and tossed my phone somewhere on my bed. Staring at my ceiling in my dark room was better than trying to distract myself.

I guess to say it bluntly, I’m hurt. And I’m angry.

Was I someone they couldn’t trust with a secret or something? That was probably it. It’s probably some secret that everyone in the school knows, but me. It’s probably about me.  
Even thinking back to Saturday, I can’t find anything wrong I could’ve done. It was a pretty normal night for us with the exception of Clyde being away.

I rolled onto my side, curling into a ball.

This isn’t fair, whatever it is. I shouldn’t even let it bother me this much.

I felt my phone vibrate somewhere on my bed. I let it go the first two buzzes, but the third told me it was a phone call. I spread my limbs out, looking like I was making a snow angel in my blankets, trying to find my phone. Even if it was moments ago, I couldn’t remember where it had landed. A hard thing my elbow, giving away the location.

The screen read Craig was calling.

Ugh. I didn’t feel like talking to him.

I accepted it anyways.

“What?” I grumbled.

“Well hello to you too.” I stayed silent, he continued after a few seconds, “Soooooo, missed ya today. Where were you for lunch.”

I guess I should have sent an excuse in text for missing lunch, but I was too pissed to see them at that time. 

“In the library, just wanted to get some stuff done for English.” Which was partly true. 

“Is that so?”

“Yea.”

“You wanna come over?”

“Not really.” 

The phone static filled my ear. I caught him off guard. Good, take that. I could imagine him pursing his lips in thought.

My assumption was proven right when I heard the smacking sound of his lips coming apart.

“Weeeellll, I’m pretty sure you’re going to anyways, so just shoot a text when you get to the garage. See ya then.”

He hung up before I could reject him.

Damn it.

 

I laid in my bed for a few more minutes. I had nothing planned for the weekend other than work. And it’s not like I’m doing anything now.

I groaned as I rolled off my bed.

I redressed myself into proper clothes and packed a bag for the weekend. I knew already after work tomorrow I’d just be going back to his place so this was just saving me time.

 

I took my time walking there. The cold wind blew against my exposed skin. My ears were the first to hurt, then my jaw joints. Even with the pain I didn’t really feel like going there. 

It was really out of habit. But not even that, I think it’s more so because he wants me to go there.

Me being mad about whatever is going on won’t solve anything. No point in letting it ruin tonight I guess.

 

I was jittering by the time I made it to his house. He was pretty quick on opening the door at least.

I followed him back up to his room. Bless his heart, he already had hot chocolate there for me. It had cooled down just enough for me to drink it right away too.

As I stripped off my layers I noticed he was watching me eagerly. 

“What?” I tossed my coat over his on his desk’s chair.

He tried to hide a smile. “So, I got the job.”

I almost dropped the mug. It took all my strength to not just spin around and stare, but I had to put down the cocoa first. After all I didn’t want to add to the collection of drink stains I’ve already decorated his carpet with. 

“You what!?”

“I got the job.”

I didn’t know if I wanted to hug him or punch him.

“Wh-what? When? When did you have the interview? How’d it go? Why didn’t you tell me early?”

He smiled widely, biting a corner of his bottom lip. 

I wish I could frame this moment. This perfect moment of him being so happy.

He shrugged, keeping his shoulders held high for a few seconds as if stretching his muscles.

“They called after school and asked when I was free. Obviously, I was then and they told me to come in for an interview. Ya’ know so I went in and they just asked shit, and bam, I’m hired.”

“Why didn’t you tell me early!?” I repeated. I grabbed his upper arms, shaking them a bit for emphasizes that I was fake angry by the lack of communication.

“I wanted to tell you in person and just assumed you’d come earlier. That’s why I had to call your ass over here.”

The smile on my face must have been shining. I felt so happy for him. This is big for him, and he wasn’t even forced to do it. He did this all himself.

“When do you start?”

“Not sure yet, I’ll find out tomorrow. I have to go in to give them my social and birth certificate to copy and stuff.”

I pulled him into a hug, trapping his arms underneath mine, “My little Craig is growing up so fast!” I patted his back as if he were a child. 

He laughed out a breathy “shut up”, awkwardly patting my back as well. I pulled away from him, placing my hands back on his arms.

“You gotta tell Token and Clyde now. Did you at least tell your parents already?”

“I did. What kind of son do you think I am? Plus, I’ll tell them soon. I just don’t feel like texting right now.” There it is again, that strange thing with the three of them. 

Let it slide Tweek, let it slide. Don’t ruin this mood now, it’s too good to let go to rubbish.

“Oh, okay.” I didn’t know what else to say.

He gave a little nod before turning to squat in front of his shelf that holds all his games and movies. I took that as the conversation being over and grabbed my mug. It was a little warmer than luke warm, but honestly, I don’t care. Coffee and hot chocolate can be hot or cold and I’ll drink them either way. Though Craig thinks it’s gross. He says if a drink is supposed to be hot, it should only be drunk hot. Same with cold drinks too. Cold drinks tend to have ice in them though which eventually melt and make them all watery. 

“Is zombies good?” He was sitting fully on the floor now with his legs crossed. He was staring up at me, making me realize my eyes had already been lingering on him before I noticed. In his hand he held one of the older COD games. I looked to his eyes but he had only a blank expression on, as usual. 

My first instinct was to look away, but doing so would make it a little bit more weird, wouldn’t it? I mean I’m sure he thought I was just watching him chose something. Friends stare at each other a lot anyways. There’s been plenty of times that I just stared at Token and Clyde while they went about doing stuff because I had nothing better to do with my time. 

I realized I still hadn’t given him an answer so I nodded. I chugged the rest of my cocoa to hide my embarrassment as he set the system up.

The way his room was set up made it a little bit difficult to play video games. His head board of his bed was against one wall, sticking the bed out in the middle of the room while the tv was on the opposite wall facing the bed. This gave little room to sit on the floor at a proper distance to see the screen without straining ones neck. But sitting on the edge of his bed was cramped and a bit too close to the screen.

But the latter is what he always had to settle on with just the two of us. If a third person was here it’d be enough to move the whole TV and game system elsewhere for a better amount of room. But he was too lazy if it is just him and one other person to go through all that trouble.

I, for one, am a very jumpy gamer. Not that I’m scared, I just move a lot. For example, if I’m playing a racing game and make a sharp left, I also lean my body to the left.  
So, the basically nonexistent space between Craig and I at the bottom of his bed made it quite difficult for me to not be all up on him.

And really this isn’t too bad, because our friendship has a very physical aspect to it. A lot of South Park has a bit of a too touchy relationship with everyone.  
The issue is, with our legs touching and our arms bumping, it is extremely distracting. 

I’m not entirely sure when, but I do know that within the past month or so I’ve become extremely aware of him. Everything about him caught my attention. With every touch I wanted more. And the worse of it? This feeling of uneasiness. The feeling of shudders running through my body when I felt his heat. The feeling of my stomach dancing and my heart racing.

Every passing day it only gets worse.

It’s not like I dislike it at all. I like the feeling. It’s something new. The worrisome part is that it’s him.

 

We played a lot later than I was anticipating. Jumping between different games until late into the AM. We stopped only because he was getting tired. I was still wide awake, but I was grateful he called it quits because tonight I was getting my ass kicked in every game we played. It’s entirely his fault for my poor performance, but of course, I can’t voice that to him.

 

The only light in the room was Craig’s dim phone screen. He pulled up photos and gifs he found throughout the week to show me. Most of them being pictures of animals in funny costumes though. Guess he was going through another phase of that which happens a few times a year. At least this time he doesn’t have a guinea pig to dress up again. As funny and cute as it was, I’m pretty sure his guinea pigs never enjoyed it and tolerated it simply because they loved him.

As he scrolled I noticed a post he had favorited. Some astronomical thing happening tomorrow night?

He stopped scrolling when I brought my hand up to move the screen back up to reread it. It was some line up of planets or something like that, it wasn’t something I had ever heard about before.

“You going to watch it?” I asked.

He frowned slightly, “I wanted to but my telescope broke during the summer, remember?” I totally forgot about that until now. I felt bad, I’m sure he wanted to watch it more than anything too.

“Oh right. That sucks man, sorry.” He shrugged, well shrugged as best as he could laying down.

“It’s whatever. I guess I’ll just buy one after a few paychecks.” I know him too well, it’s not just “whatever”. He used to do everything in his power to see any eclipse or meteor shower. He’s probably just trying to convince himself that he doesn’t care though.

Maybe I’ll try to get one for him for Christmas?

I replayed his last sentence again in my head. It reminded me of our conversation earlier, “Speaking of paychecks. When are you going in tomorrow?” He never did tell me that.

“Five.” After I go to work. I hummed in acknowledgement of his words. He hummed back, turning on alarms and clicking off his phone. Guess it was bedtime now.

 

I waited until he went to sleep to look at telescope prices. The ones that look similar to his old aren’t cheap, but they aren’t the worse priced. I probably had about five hundred in my account that I’ve been saving up, so maybe the most expensive I could go was two hundred? 

The more I scrolled through the listing the more confused I got. There are so many different kinds. Maybe I could ask him indirectly the one he would want? 

I sighed, closing the browser and opening reddit. Mostly boring posts. One or two things made me chuckle, but nothing too entertaining tonight. With nothing left to check I opened facebook. As I went through the latest posts I accidentally tapped on a video. My phone blared with some girl singing. The fear of waking Craig up sent me panicking trying to turn it off. I ended up having to totally close the app because I couldn’t figure out how to close the video itself.

With my phone now on the homescreen I looked over to see if he was awakened. For a moment it didn’t seem so but then he breathed in deeply. With a groan he flopped his arm onto my stomach, feeling around until he felt my arm. 

I felt my eyebrows scrunch together in confusion. I watched as he creeped his hand up my arm until he finally found his goal, my phone. Before I even knew what was happening he smacked it out of my hands. Somewhere in the dark room I heard it hit something. God, it probably crashed into the dresser and is now shattered into a million pieces.

I opened my mouth to protest but his hand found my face. “What are you doing?” He groaned again, sliding his hand across my face to the back of my head. Gripping my hair a bit, he pulled me towards him. 

“Crai-Mmf!” He shoved me into his chest. His grip loosened and I turned my head in order to not be smothered to death. From doing so my ear rested against his chest. I heard the rumble in his chest as he spoke.

“Sleep.”

He settled his hand on my shoulder, shifting closer to me. 

My heart was pounding.

-

The rest of the weekend passed peacefully between working and hanging out at Craig’s. I finished up the whole project on Sunday night, sending a message to Kenny about his part. Hopefully he’ll at least practice before we go. The presentations start Tuesday, and knowing my luck we will get picked to go on the first day. It still bothered me our group chat wasn’t active, but I was slowly letting go of that issue. It’s not like me stressing over it will change anything.

Monday went in a blink of an eye and just as I figured, Kenny and I were chosen to present on Tuesday.

Third up. That was barely any time to prepare myself. Granted I’ve been mentally preparing for this for a good two days now. The anxiety already starting to take its tool. Periodically my hands twitched if they weren’t running through my hair or picking at the lose strands of fabric on my shirt. My legs shaking uncontrollably. If it wasn’t one jumping up and down, the other would start. I completely blocked out the first two presentations to read my note cards. So much was running through my mind.

Maybe I wrote too much information? Maybe it’s not enough information? Did I even use the citations correctly? Probably not, but there’s nothing I can do about that now.

The class giving a half assed applause pulled me away from my notes.

It was time. Jesus Christ have mercy on me just this once. I really need to pass this class in order to graduate. If I don’t graduate I’ll become the laughing stock of this town. Then I’d have to move to a whole different city, no maybe even state. I’ve never lived anywhere but South Park. Other places in America obviously work the same, right? Oh god what if they don’t and I’ll just die of starvation because I can’t even buy myself food.

Ugh. This is way too much pressure.

Christ I’m already sweating. I hope no one can tell.

My wobbly legs carried me to the front of the room. Somehow, I set up the powerpoint in my scattered state of mind.

And so, it begins.

 

And it ended. God, Jesus, shiva, Izanagi, any spiritual being, all spiritual beings, I must thank you for aiding me in my greatest time of need. No doubt some being above human understanding felt I was pitiful enough to be sent a miracle. Not only did Kenny do a good job, but I didn’t completely make a fool out of myself. Yeah, I stumbled over some parts here and there, but for the most part I did pretty good. It was probably the best presentation I had given. Thank god, I didn’t have a break down, that would have been super embarrassing.

But hey it all worked out and I couldn’t be happier.

I sat in a daze for the rest of the class. I could finally relax, at least for now anyways.

The bell rang just in time as the last group of the day had just finished. Kenny and I walked out together, stopping in front of some lockers to chat before we had to split for third period.

“I’m really glad that’s over with.” I stretched a bit to loosen up the stress still hiding in my muscles.

He pulled out his phone. While tapping at it he said, “Yeah, but if it wasn’t for you I probably wouldn’t have been able to pass the class.” That sounds familiar.

But I knew his words were true in his case. I couldn’t actually say that though, I’m not that blunt. “No, no, it was nothing.” What else am I supposed to say anyway? 

He smiled and took a step forward to the incoming traffic of people. He seemed as if he were about to join the bustling crowd before pulling himself back. 

“So, have you thought of it? How’s it all going?”

Thought of what? He couldn’t be referring to that one thing…

“What?”

“You know, the whole g-a-y thing. Or should I say, b-i thing.”

“Kenny!” I slapped a hand over his mouth. People aren’t that stupid. They can figure out the two or three letters he was spelling! No one seemed to be looking at us though, so maybe we are safe. 

He laughed, brushing off my hand. “Well, have you?” Wow, he was really looking at me like he could see my soul. I really was not prepared for this. I think I’d prefer to do my presentation again than have this conversation repeated.

“I-”

My words were caught in my throat, being replaced by a screech. I barely registered that my body was being swept backwards, my feet hardly keeping me upright. I looked over my shoulder to see the black hair on a tall boy. Craig. 

He didn’t look back as he called back a “hi” to Kenny, who laughed, turning away while sending me a small goodbye wave.

I tried to untangle my arm he hooked me by, all while keeping my balance while he hurried me along. I don’t think he realized if he stopped for point five seconds I would be able to walk just as fast facing forward.

“Craig, just wait a god damn second!” He only glanced at me with a smile.

What the heck is going on?

By the time we made it to the staircase to the second floor I had struggled enough to slip his grasp for a mere half a second to turn around before I was back at his mercy.

“Where are we going? The bell is about to ring.” He just pulled me more forward. We were practically sprinting now. 

“You’ll see when we get there.” He panted out as we reached the top of the stairs. Boy did we really need to start working out.

We rounded the corner sharply. I almost tripped and was not prepared when he yanked me into the first classroom.

The stench of the room is what hit me first. It smelled like a zoo. It basically was one.  
Once we were passed the door frame Craig instantly let go of me. He continued on to the front of the classroom while I gawked at my new surroundings. I had never been in the bio room before.

Fish tanks with fish, lizards, and frogs where on every inch of counter top and shelves all around the room. There were skeletons placed on the high up shelves and glass casings of insects in front of old text books. Little DNA strands hung from the ceiling with cartoon… sperm and ova? What the hell. This was the most bizarre classroom I have ever seen.

“Tweek come here.” I heard Craig’s voice, but did I see him? Nope.

I went to the front of the classroom. Between a lab table and the teachers desk I found Craig crouched on the ground. In front of him was a large cage on the ground. Next to it was another cage, though I could see a rabbit chomping down on some food in that one.

He waved me closer and I took my place next to him on the floor. His eyes were wide and shining. I haven’t seen him this excited in a very long time.

He unhooked the cage’s door, gently reaching his hand in and removing the plastic house that I assume the creature was resting in.

To my surprise, it wasn’t just one or two little animals, but five. 

The mother guinea pig squeaked, looking up to see who just disturbed her cozy home. Squirming around next to her were four babies. After seconds of being frozen in fear they scattered around the cage, the mother not bothering to move.

“Oh my god. They are so cute.” I didn’t even know they had hair when they were born. I’m shocked for many reasons, but I am very surprised to see they don’t like ballsacks.  
To think though the bio teacher would have baby guinea pigs is amazing though. 

Craig carefully put the house back over top mama, making sure to keep the door closed as much as possible while his arm was in there. “Aren’t they? I already talked to the teacher, he said I can have one when they get old enough.” He snapped the cage shut and leaned in closer to watch them. One calico colored ran up to sniff at him. I could tell he was ready to combust from the cuteness. 

Just from watching his reactions, I think I was ready to combust too.

“I thought your parents won’t let you have another?”

He poked the baby’s little paw that was against one of the bars. It jumped and scampered to its siblings. Craig laughed, turning to me. He had that look like he was up to no good.

“Weeeeell, I still have the old cage in the basement. I’d just have to get food and shedding. Since I start working on Thursday I’m sure I’ll have enough time to get a paycheck or two before these little guys are ready to find homes. I’ll just buy what I need and sneak them in at night. They’ll never know.”

I rolled my eyes. What a Craig thing to do, sneak a guinea pig into his room and hide it from his family.

“When were they born?”

“Yesterday. Token found out this morning and told me about it. Since Clyde and him saw them already I wanted to show you too.” 

Hey heart, can you not skip a beat? No matter how cute he is right now, or how touching his words are, you can’t just do that.

But also, I’m glad to hear it was Token who told him about it. That probably means things are all fine now? Hopefully?

 

I don’t know when the late bell rang, too caught up with Craig and his guinea pig adventure. We both skipped class, mine being math which will probably bite me in the butt for skipping and his was gym, which I’m sure Clyde will throw a fit that he didn’t tell him he was ditching out on.

The rest of the day passed peacefully, and well so did the rest of the week and the week after. We all started to text normally in our group chat. I worked on homework or was at the coffeeshop, in my free time I hung with the gang. The most exciting thing was when Craig officially started working. He ended up telling Token and Clyde the day of because he forgot to tell them beforehand. Their reactions were priceless.

Things just went on how they normally did, except for my intrusive thoughts about Craig, but really things could be worse.  
Finally, the time came for Clyde’s whole week free of his dad, a whole week having the house to himself. His dad and his girlfriend left on Friday so naturally the logical thing to do was have a party that night.

 

Token, Craig, and I were the first to arrive. Not including Bebe that is, who had gone straight to Clyde’s house after school. We all set up chips and cups, apparently others were bringing the booze and sodas. Everyone in our grade from South Park were invited, and then some. Of course, not everyone who was invited will come, but the steady stream of teens was starting to cramp up the house. Really, it felt pretty casual up until Cartman and Kenny arrived with the drinks and weed, that’s when the party truly started.

I actually didn’t feel like getting drunk tonight. I sipped enough to slowly get me to a buzz. Craig on the other hand could down a beer and be fine, anything after two cans is when things start to get to him. Clyde was pretty much smashed by the time the final guests arrived, with Bebe just as drunk beside him.

Token was the strongest of our group, which was nice when we needed someone to take care of us. That being mostly Clyde. But, tonight he was off duty. From my spot on the sofa I could see him making moves on Theresa. I’m sure he’ll succeed, he always does.

“Yo—you- youuu boys wanna hit?” Craig and I looked up from our phones to Jimmy standing before us, a blunt in his outreached hand.

I shrugged grabbing it. A hit or two won’t do anything, might as well. It wasn’t often I smoked, so as I inhaled my lungs felt on fire. Craig did the same, only taking one hit before handing it back to Jimmy.

“Did you hear back from Timmy yet? I asked others earlier but no one seems to know what he’s doing.” Craig asked.

“He’s at his au-aunt’s this weekend.”

“Sucks, I barely see him anymore. Same with you, theater kid.”

“Gee whiz, I’m no theater kid, but knowing how to act has improved my comedy acts!”

“When is your next show?” I asked.

He stopped in thought, “In February I believe, details are still shaky though.”

“Well update us when you know for sure.”

Craig piped in, “Also dude don’t forget about that.” He nodded towards the blunt.

Jimmy laughed, putting it up to his lips, “Will do, well thanks guys, ca-catc-catch you later!”

Craig looked down at his drink, apparently empty as he got up and went towards the kitchen. I looked around the room, it wasn’t horribly crowded. Thankfully Clyde didn’t like all out smashers so everyone was fairly calm. 

I looked down at my own drink and saw it was half way gone. Time to start socializing I guess. I had enough to drink to at least get me going.

I jumped from group to group. Conversations moved on quick enough for me to ease my way in and out of them. I made my way to the kitchen where I found Clyde, Craig, and Kevin Stoley. 

“Craig, please, I know I have some at your house, just a few I can’t find any here.”

Craig sighed, “Clyde you have some, you just can’t remember where you put them cause you're drunk. I’m sure they’re where you always keep them. Did you look under the sink?”

“I did and they aren’t there!”

I refilled my empty cup next to Kevin who listened in on our friends’ banter.

“What are they going on about?” 

“Clyde just remembered that he can’t find his new box of ostomy bags and apparently he doesn’t have anymore, so he’s asking Craig to get the extras at his house since it’s the closest.”

Craig groaned, slamming his drink on the counter. “Fine, now will you leave me alone?”

Wouldn’t it be easier to check Clyde’s house first before running back to his? I would think so, but I kept my mouth shut anyways. I’ll just let them do things the difficult way.

“Yes! You’re the bestestests!” He threw himself on Craig for a hug. Craig just pushed him away, already digging for his cigarettes. 

“You’re too drunk, go find Bebe.” And like a dog, he followed his command and wandered out of the kitchen, assumingly to find Bebe.

I watched Craig take the same route, though I know he’s heading in a slightly different direction that Clyde. 

I sighed into my cup before taking a sip. This party was fun and all, it just wasn’t what I was in the mood for I guess. Maybe I was expecting a little bit more of a pumped atmosphere. Yeah people were talking and playing drinking games together, smoking and what not. I mean, maybe it is pumped up and fun, maybe I am the one who’s just not feeling it? 

Actually, why am I even in this kind of mood? Nothing bad has happened, and everything is going on perfectly so…?

“Why the long face, Tweeky boy?” I looked up to find Kenny standing in front of me. 

Good question Kenny, I don’t know myself. “Nothing? My face is fine.”

He smiled, pulling himself onto the counter to sit across from me. He swung his legs a bit.

“Lonely?”

“Lonely? Not particularly.”

“Is he here?” Why the hell is Kenny never clear on what he’s talking about. But I’m not that stupid either, I guess it’s better he’s not being so blunt about the topic after the school incident. So, I shouldn’t complain, instead I should be grateful he’s only hinting at it.

I bit the inside of my cheek, “No…” It’s not a lie. 

“Mmmh. Do I know this person?” His swinging legs slowed to just bump against the cabinet doors under the counter.

“Mmmmmh, who knows?” I took a sip, looking at him over the rim of the cup.

“I love playing these games, but I truly am curious.” He too took a sip.

“Curiosity killed the cat.”

“And satisfaction brought it back.”

I tried to hide my laugh by sucking in my bottom lip and chewing on it. It made a little sucking noise, but thankfully it was too loud for anyone to hear. 

I looked to the liquid in my drink, sloshing it around a bit. “Maybe one day, but not tonight.”

A clattering sound from the other side of the kitchen took our attention away from the conversation. I enjoy us being disrupted all the time. Honestly, I hope it keeps happening in the future if he keeps bringing this up. 

On the other side of the room Stan was there and the rolling cans on the ground told that he had knocked them out of the still open fridge. Kyle walked into the kitchen, with a deep sigh he pulled Stan away from the mess, scolding him on drinking too much.

Stan pouted and looked towards Kenny and I. It’s not like we were the only people in the kitchen, but I guess in his drunken state we were. He bumped into almost everyone and everything trying to get to us. Christ, it wasn’t even that big of a kitchen.

“Keeeennyyyyyy, heeeeeey, and Tweek! What’s up, yous.” That’s a new one. “I missed you guys.”

Kenny jumped off the counter top to pat Stan on his shoulder.

Kyle turned from the fridge, the floor now clean of cans. Lucky for them one didn’t burst. 

“Good, I’m tired of babysitting him, it’s your turn Kenny.” 

Kenny gasped, glancing between his two best friends. “You weren’t doing a very good job at it.” 

Kyle raised his eyebrows as he gave an uncaring frown and shrugged. He walked out without another word.

“Hey! I watched him last time, get someone else to do it!” Off Kenny went after Kyle.

And then it was just the two of us. Myself, the ‘someone else’, and Stan, the man baby. 

“Come on, I’m not on duty tonight either.” I ushered Stan along with me, who seemed more interested in the drink still in my hand than what was going on.

The music got louder as we entered the living room, but the two were nowhere in sight. Stan kept reaching for my drink. I wasn’t even with him a full minute and I was tired of his behavior.

“Not today.” I said before chugging the rest of my cup’s contents. I heard Stan whine next to me.

“That’s not fair.”

“That’s life, my friend.” I took out my phone ready to text Kenny and Kyle to get their asses back here but the time caught my attention. It’s been about a half an hour already? Shouldn’t Craig be back yet?

I didn’t process whatever words Stan was saying to me as I stared at the digital clock. I was bored and given the responsibility to take care of him. Maybe I was the one who needed to drink more.

A blurb appeared in my peripheral vision. Naturally I flinched, shutting my eyes to ready myself for the impact of whatever was flying towards my face. Rather a smack, a gentle pressure was placed on one of my bottom eyelids. Bewildered, I gradually opened my eyes to see a hand in front of my face. I had a hard time focusing on it as it pulled my skin down to expose more of my eye.

“What are you doing?” I asked Stan who was now close to my face, peering into my eyes. His own kept sweeping back and forth between mine.

“They’re so… big, and sad.” What is with this whole thing happening tonight. First Kenny and now a drunk Stan. 

I held his gaze after he took his hand away. 

“I think yours look sad too.”

He nodded like he understood something and giggled. He continuously nodded until it was to the beat of whatever song was playing. He began to sing too. Oh god. He was singing horribly off key. As the song progressed so did Stan in his little trance. He wiggled as some form of dance. When the song ended I was expecting his little groove to end too, but I was very, very wrong. The new song was even more upbeat and more familiar. He took my empty cup and tossed it onto the TV stand. 

Grabbing my hands and swinging them around, “Dance!” He ordered.

No wonder why Kyle left him when he did, he probably knew this stage of drunk Stan was about to come out. This must be the stage of Stan that comes after his emo one, the over the top one.

But I entertained him, joining along in this so called “dance”. Two songs came and went by the time Kenny wandered back to us. He smelled strongly of weed. He joined in our little dance group without a word. 

Everything was going good and the alcohol was really hitting me. I was probably just a little pass tipsy. 

The thought of drinking more was quickly thrown out the window though. Stan began to slow down and leaned himself onto Kenny. Him and I stopped as well.

“You okay?” Kenny asked.

“I think I’m going to throw up…” Stan squeezed his eyes shut, bringing his hand up to cover his mouth.

“Oh, no, no, no, not here.” Kenny and I immediately pulled him towards the bathroom. He was already lurching as his body was getting ready to dispel all the alcohol he’s recently drank. 

Thankfully we made it just in time. No mess was made, thank god.

I sat on the floor next to him as Kenny turned on the bathroom’s ventilation. He didn’t bother turning the light on as there was a little night light in one of the plugs. It was just bright enough to see.

“I’ll go get him some water.” He said. 

“Okay.” I patted Stan on the back. His body trembled while he dry heaved. The smell was already taking up the small space. It was gross having to hear and smell it all, but I wasn’t going to pussy out over this.

Kenny returned with the water, scrunching his face at the smell. 

“Thanks. You can just put it on the sink. If you want I can just take care of him, you go back out.”

He hesitated for a moment, peeking at Stan who was still hunched over the bowl. 

“You sure?”

“Yea. It’s totally fine.”

“Okay, well tell me if either of you need anything.”

“Thanks.”

With that he left. 

I don’t know how much time had passed, eventually Stan’s body calmed down. He’d utter things under his breath, probably cursing himself for drinking so much, as gripped his head. I’m sure for him the room was already spinning. Once I knew he was finished I wadded up some toilet paper for him to wipe his mouth and forced him to drink the whole cup of water.

He blankly stared into the corner of the room, blinking often. I laid back on the cold, tiled floor with my knees up to give Stan room.

“You know something Tweek, it’s really annoying.”

I glanced at him, “What is?” The buzz I had going on was completely gone now. This party kind of sucks.

“Everyone has someone, you know? Like Kyle has some girl he’s talking to. Cartman and Kenny pick up chicks whenever they feel like it. Like everyone has at least someone. Token, Clyde, Butters. That’s practically everyone!” Not really Stan, but okay.

He crawled over next to me and plopped down. He was practically lying half on top of me but at this point I didn’t care anymore. With him out of the way I stretched out my legs.

“At least you know how it feels. The forever alone party.”

“That’s kind of rude, dude. And you know, you can easily pick up girls, so I don’t know why you’re saying this.” He gave a deep sigh in response.

The alcohol must be slowly fading from his system. It seems he has reverted back to the emo stage. 

He ever so slightly snuggled into my shoulder. God, I hope he cleaned himself up properly before rubbing his face on my clothes. I don’t want to smell like puke.

“I wish you were someone else. Do you think the same?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you wish I was someone else. Right now, laying here.”

I thought for a moment. Not like I was thinking much because I already had an answer.

“Yeah… I do.”

Stan was silent. His breathing began to even out. I concentrated on that, resting my eyes.

In the blank space of my mind came Craig.

I wish it was him here. I wish he were the one laying against me. I wish he had been the one enjoying the night with me. 

That feeling from earlier returned. The one that Kenny called a lonely look.

Was that it? Was I lonely? Was I lonely without Craig?

The feeling in my chest sunk more.

I miss him, and I just saw him not even two hours ago.

Fuck.

The sound of the door creaking open brought me back to the small bathroom. I lifted my chin higher to look behind me. The light from the hallway seemed extremely bright compared to the bathroom’s dim light.

My eyes took their time readjusting, but when they did I found Craig in the doorway.

“You guys sleeping in here?”

“No.” I looked to Stan. Apparently, I was wrong. “Yes?”

He rolled his eyes playfully. He took a step in and began the process of getting Stan off of me. Stan didn’t even twitch when we finally got him upright. Craig and I supported his weight as we walked him back in the living room. A couple of people who were on the couch kindly moved without us needing to say anything.

Kyle noticed and apologized for Stan’s inconvenience.

Yeah right you bastard. You’re the one who ditched him with us. 

I let it slide though. I know he always has to take care of Stan whenever there’s a party, it’s understandable that he just wanted a break.

Craig just flipped him off, not caring for his excuse. 

Craig stepped closer to me. He raised his arms above his head in a stretch, a groan along with it. His shirt raised up enough to show the skin of his belly.

I had to suppress all urges to poke it.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed.” He said, swinging his long arms back to his side.

“Already? Didn’t you just get here?” I followed him as he made his way to our already proclaimed sleeping spot, Clyde’s sister’s old room.

“I’ve been here for a while. I was talking to people in the front yard before I came back in.”

I didn’t know people were hanging out up front. That’s kind of really stupid because that’s the easiest way to get the cops called on us.

Craig took the note of “occupied” off of the door. It was his idea to make it so that it would trick people into not using it.

Turning on the light revealed that the note did in fact work. The room was untouched. And our bags of clothes were still intact. Nice.

I only followed him up because I knew the party wasn’t going to get any better. Not to mention I’m tired after playing nanny.

And, I don’t like to say it, but I wanted to be with him just a little more.

We got ready for bed. A few words were exchanged here and there. I mean really, we don’t need to always speak or have something to do. We were fine with the silence, especially since we both were tired. 

 

It was the kind of sleep that felt like you shut your eyes for five seconds. 

The music was no longer playing. No murmured voices echoed through the house. It was dead silent. Not including the rustling of blankets that is.

But my brain did not process any of this, for my undivided attention was on the body that was rubbing against mine.

My sleep driven brain was having issues comprehending the hand that laid on my midriff, or the semi rhythmic circle his hips were moving. I could feel his dick against my ass. He was hard.

My body must have fully understood the situation before I did, because it was acting on its own. My own was getting just as excited.

My mouth was dry. The entire room felt ablaze. 

I didn’t dare move. I didn’t want to stop whatever this was.

I held my breath for a moment, listening carefully. Was he awake? I don’t think so…

His breathing sounded too even and the small snore coming from the back of his throat would not be something a conscious person would make.

Plus, I’ve seen him do this before. Just on the mattress. Hell, even I have humped into my hand in my half-asleep states.

But this was new.

And god was it getting to me.

I heard him inhale deeply and suddenly I was cold.

He flipped to the other of the bed. A little moan coming from his direction.

Oh god, dear god.

That was… He’s so…

 

My hand slipped into my boxers, caressing myself down there. I wasn’t fully hard, but I was getting there quickly. Whatever just happened, I yearned for it to continue on.

Fuck, when did my heart beat become so loud?

 

I went to the bathroom. I couldn’t stay there for much longer. Thankfully it was vacant. I didn’t really think much into it. My brain kept replaying what had just happened. 

The small noises he made. The way he felt against me.

My hand was working much faster than my memory could keep up with.

In no time I had finished. I cleaned up and made my way back to the bed.

 

I laid awake staring into the dark abyss. The mass of the situation weighing down on me.

I couldn’t just pretend what he did didn’t happen.

I couldn’t just pretend what I did didn’t happen. 

I just crossed that line for sure. Not just by a step or two. No. I went ahead and leaped a few yards in.

That there was absolutely no denying anything I feel anymore.

I did what I had feared would happen.

I did what I had been avoiding for months. 

 

I masturbated to Craig Tucker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't like leaving notes, but I just wanted to clarify that this chapter happened to run a lot longer than I had anticipated. Future chapters will probably not be this long, if anything they will probably be about chapter 2's and 3's length. 
> 
> Also while I'm at it, I'd like to thank everyone who has commented or sent me messages on here and Tumblr. I really appreciate it! Thank you so much for your support, see you next chapter!


	5. Heavy Eyes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig's POV

It is a day shy of three weeks since I started to work at Kegan’s. The first week was probably the worse. Having the job of both a bus boy and a dish washer wasn’t that difficult. Rather, it was pretty easy. All my coworkers are fairly nice, usually those who work up front I don’t get a chance to talk to too often, not like I really want to anyways. But the boys in the back are tolerable. Those boys, or should I say old ass men, are the kind of people who have rough palms from years of hard labor and their grins lack teeth. I don’t mind at all. I was probably a fresh taste to the mix. 

So, what could have been so bad about the first week if I had no problem learning my job and getting along with staff? The answer is my feet.

Standing for hours on end with no chance to sit down until a short, but sweet thirty-minute break was a major downer to the job. I’m getting used to it now though. Mostly cause my mom was kind enough to get me a proper pair of shoes to wear for standing, the kind with the squishy soles in them. And god damn did that change my whole world.

I admit, I’ve never heard Tweek complain about having to stand all the time or having achy feet, not even when he had to work eight to ten hours straight. Never even a peep. Maybe I was the one who was actually a little bitch about all this. Token made fun of me when I first started to complain. What a jerk. Clyde seemed to know my pain from working summers and holiday breaks at his dad’s shoe store. 

 

Leaving behind the bustling restaurant, cigarette already lit, I took the scenic route back home. With the sky clear the stars are absolutely shining, making me wish I had a working telescope again. As much as I hate South Park as the next person, nights like this made me appreciate its unusual beauty. Too many fond memories lay between the cracks in the streets of this shit town for me to ever fully resent it. The weird bubble this town sits in locks people here. Even if they try to escape, they always return. Stockholm Syndrome someone once said, if I recall correctly it was Kyle when we all got together one night and got a bit too high, high enough for us to share our conflicted feelings that rest deep in our hearts for this place.

A breeze rushed past my exposed ears, making me shudder. Taking a final drag of my cigarette before flicking it away, the loneliness of the sleepy town settled in my stomach. The one person I wanted to see most hasn’t been around much. Well, really neither have I.

After Clyde’s party we both were bombarded with work hours. I can’t fully complain though, I like the fact I’m making money. My first pay check should finally be coming up since I started the week before their last pay. It’ll be soooooo nice to put something I earned myself into my bank account.

 

I felt the lightest of vibrations through my layers. The message though was sadly not from who I wanted it to be.

 

_From clyde: guess wat chuck_

Oh boy.

__

_What_

__

_From clyde: chuck I got dat truuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkkkk_

__

_From clyde: where you at_

__

_From clyde: u got of f of work yea_

__

Sometimes I wish he would text like a normal human being.

__

_I’m already half way to my house dipshit_

__

I stopped walking, pressing the call button to get this over with.

__

 

__

“Duuuuuuuuuuuuuude, where the fuck are you?”

__

I had to look around, I hadn’t been paying too much attention to where I was actually.

__

“I’m basically right outside of Kevin’s house.”

__

“Good, stay there, I’ll get you. I’m pretty close, I was driving to your work anyways.” Wasn’t he just texting me? What an idiot. 

__

“Are you already texting and driving?” I scuffled the foot that I had no weight on, kicking a stone onto the road.

__

“I’m skilled, no worries.” I already lack the patience to roll my eyes anymore, this guy was too much. 

__

“Hurry up.” I hung up.

__

I stood awkwardly on the side walk, the chill of the night filtering through my clothes. I wish this fool would hurry up. I have half the mind to keep going anyways, maybe even call Tweek just to see how his cute little self is doing.

__

I think my muscles were starting to freeze, my shoulders hunched up unwillingly to fight against the chill against my exposed neck. Though it had probably only been about three minutes, it felt like three years. The sight of a rickety truck pulling around did even help my body from caving in on itself. Though it didn’t help much, I walked towards Clyde to meet him even the slightest bit faster. It definitely would have been better if I hadn’t stopped moving in the first place.

__

The dry heat blowing on my face as I pulled myself into his truck felt fantastic on my nose. Though it wasn’t so happy about the strange smell inside the cab. 

__

I settled in, awkwardly stretching out my tensed muscles.

__

“You like her?” He asked, waiting until I was settled in before pulling off the curb. 

__

“It’s not bad, was expecting worse honestly.”

__

“My dad said we can do a paint job on her if no internal issues pop up before summer. I took her to the shop after I got her and they said she was a-okay, so I’m trusting what they say. Even got her new tires and all.”

__

“Damn, you really went all out.”

__

“Of course! I think Bebe is a little jealous that I’ve been putting so much attention towards Mindy. It’s only been a day.” 

__

“Mindy?”

__

“That’s her name. Doesn’t she look like one?”

__

“It’s a truck. It doesn’t look like shit to me.” Clyde threw a disappointed, pouty-frowny face at me. He leaned forward to pat the dashboard.

__

“You’ll learn one day, Craig. When you have a girl of your own, you’ll understand.”

__

“Sorry, I don’t plan to fuck my car like you apparently are.” He laughed.

__

“So, you’re jealous, now? It’s okay I knew this would happen, I’ll leave time for you too.”

__

“Oh shit, you got me. I didn’t realize I was being so transparent.”

__

“You always are, babe.” I’m sure he winked at me.

__

The heat of the small cab was actually getting to me now. Fuck fall and winter. Or more like fuck the cold. I hate how I can never be at the perfect temperature. I watched as he passed my house, I guess we are going for a drive. Since that’s the case I shimmied off my coat.

__

“So how did you get this? Isn’t your dad still on vacation?”

__

“Yea, but my sister stopped by to help me pick it up and do all the paper work.”

__

“Ah.”

__

The radio, which was a low murmur and hidden by the sound of the truck pumping hot air, caught Clyde’s attention. One of his favorite songs started to play and he turned the dial up to full blast. I have to give it to him, the truck has some bass.

__

Even I started to sing along, even if I’m not particularly fond of the song, but the next one came on had both of us singing, or to others it probably sounded like screeching with giggling in between. 

__

We probably drove around south park five times by the time the good tunes slowed down to something we were unfamiliar with and the radio was once again silenced to a small hum.

__

He spoke up not soon after we both realized we didn’t have anything particular to say.

__

“Soooo, how’s things been? Haven’t really seen you much since Saturday”

__

“Fine, job isn’t too bad, nothing else has been happening.”

__

“I’ve, ah, been meaning to ask, ya’ know. How are things with um, you know?” Now Clyde would be suggesting two things. Two things in which I do not want to discuss right now. And really, I’ve been hoping he wouldn’t be bringing this up at all. It’s kind of embarrassing. But here again, it’s out in the open- or between Token, Clyde, and I- so why not just talk about it? Fuck it.

__

“With who? Token or Tweek?”

__

“Mmh, I was referring to Tweek, but how about both?”

__

“Well, Token is pretty much chill with me again. I think we are good, he even messaged me about hanging out tomorrow.”

__

“And he didn’t invite me? Rude.” His lack of whining gave away that it didn’t actually bother him.

__

“I’m surprised he didn’t, but yeah, so that’s happening. It’s probably what we need.”

__

“True that, brother. Anyways, onto the more juicy bit. What about you and Tweek? I know you both shared my sister's room. Did you two get down and dirty? I was afraid to touch the sheets the next day.” He snickered. I nudged his arm.

__

“Shut up, you know it’s not like that.”

__

“You wish though.” 

__

I couldn’t deny it. Oh, hell do I wish that.

__

“Fuck off.”

__

“I saw him drinking quite a bit, so I didn’t know if he decided to swing for the other team for a night and get feisty.”

__

“Why do I talk to you? No, sadly, like usual it was just us sharing a bed, _platonically_. Nothing weird happened, you weirdo.”

__

“Hey, I’m just trying to be supportive.”

__

“You have a strange way of showing it.”

__

“Someone has to be on your side in your time of, horny, lonely need.”

__

“That makes it sound like you’re my side hoe.”

__

I barely recognized my own street when he slowed into a stop before my house.

__

“I would be if you asked politely.” He raised his eyebrows suggestive before giving me a wink.

__

I shook my head, not bothering to put on my coat for the short jog to my house.

__

“Thanks for the ride, see you later.”

__

He leaned over the divider, “Anytime, I’m one call away for that bootycall. Remember!”

__

I slammed the door in his face and wasted no time getting into my house. It was only getting colder as the night goes on. Great, love it.

__

But along with the warmth of the house welcoming me home, so was a sweet smell of... apples?

__

I left my shoes at the door and wandered into the kitchen. I was expecting like one or two of apple pies or something. But no. The kitchen had turned into a god damn bakery apparently. They filled up the table and counter tops. 

__

My mom was bent down stuffing a few more into the oven. Where in the hell did she plan to put them?

__

“New job profession?”

__

She glanced up at me with a smirk.

__

“I wish. Sadly no, I was selected as the pie girl for my company thanksgiving get together on Friday.”

__

“So why aren’t you doing them tomorrow? So, they could be fresher?”

__

“Have to take your sister shopping for her little school dance, which is on Friday. Your father is supposed to drop her off before joining me at the company dinner that day. So, I’ll have no time tomorrow. You know how she is with picking out clothes.” 

__

That’s exactly the reason I don’t go school shopping with you two anymore. 

__

“Yea, yea, I know. Thinking ahead of time. Smart.” I glanced around at the cooling desserts. “Is there one for the family?”

__

“Yea, it’s over next to the toaster. It’s the one that’s already cut.”

__

“Hell yeah, thanks mom.”

__

As I struggled to slice the pie, because I’m shit at cutting any type of food, I noticed a brown pair of gloves on the counter with green dots on them. Those look awfully familiar.

__

“Was Tweek here?” I asked, finally freeing my slice. Next step, put it on a plate without it falling apart. Apple pies were so sensitive. 

__

“Yeah, he came over earlier. When he found out you weren’t home he stayed to help make some of these. It was helpful too, guess his parents taught him to bake for their shop.”

__

“When did he leave?”

__

She studied the stove’s clock. “Maybe about fifteen minutes ago?”

__

I frowned into my first bite, he knew I had to work today, did he forget? Even so, the regret of possibly not coming home earlier to catch him in time felt heavy, reminding me how we haven’t spent much time together this week.

__

It’s true we see each other in school. But for me, that’s not enough. I have not had the correct weekly dosage of Tweek, and I’m starting to feel it’s effects. 

__

I quickly finish my pie and offer my mom some help, she waved me off and up I went to my room.

__

I did my nightly routine and ended up buried under all my covers with my phone held close to my face.

__

 

__

_Heard you stopped over, miss me that much?_

__

_From tweek: I mixed up your schedule. I thought you had today off, not tomorrow_

__

_You’re good. My mom said you helped out, that was sweet of you_

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_From tweek: yea, she didn’t seem to know what she was doing. It was funny actually. You free tomorrow?_

__

_I already made plans with Token :(_

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_From tweek: What bout Friday?_

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_So far no work or plans, wanna hang then?_

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_From tweek: I work a short shift after school, but after that I’m good_

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_Cool I can’t wait to see you in my bed again_

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I wanted to send it as a joke, even if the meaning behind it was the truth. Instead, I deleted it all but “cool” and sent that. 

__

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Our conversation ended and so did my thoughts for the night as my heavy eyes closed.

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“Tweek! Want me to ride you to work?” Clyde patted his truck like it was a delicate creature. Tweek stared at him, his expression clearly showing how unsure he was of the offer.

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Token’s car being parked next to Clyde’s in the student parking lot was hilarious. To compare, it basically looked like a Mercedes-Benz next to a tractor. It was hilarious. Seeing Clyde’s truck in the day light did it no justice either. Poor guy.

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Tweek stared intently at the bigger vehicle. 

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“Is it safe?” Aka, are you safe to be in a car with. I held back a chuckle.

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“He drove me home last night, he won’t wreck ya’.”

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__

Tweek still seemed skeptical.

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“I can always drive you, Tweek.” Token offered, earning a stink eye from Clyde.

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Tweek looked to the ground, pulling his lips inward to bite on, making it look like he had no lips at all.

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“It’s fine, thanks, Clyde can drive me. Thanks, Clyde.”

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Clyde looked like he was having the best day of his shitty, little life. 

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“You ready to head out?” Token nodded towards his car.

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“Sure, see you guys.” I flicked my hand up for a small wave to Clyde and Tweek before hoping into Token’s car.

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“What’s the plan for today?”

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“You are going to help me pick Christmas presents out for Clyde and Tweek.”

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“Well shit, I haven’t thought about that yet, it’s not even December.”

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“Exactly, do it before the rush, it’s the best time.”

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“I don’t even have the money to shop for them yet.”

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“We can go again another time when you do.”

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“I’ll remember that next month. No excuses for when the time comes.” He laughed and we were off.

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You would think it would be easy shopping for two people who are your closest friends, but that logic is indeed wrong. I was keeping an eye out for stuff I could buy them, but that was proven difficult when we couldn’t even find stuff for them from Token. Token and I had to walk around the mall a good ten times before finally picking out something for Clyde. It wasn’t even that great of a gift, but it was one he’d enjoy either way. Wireless headphones, the ones that are bluetooth. They are cool as hell, but I think I’d rather use those big, bulky headphones that cover half your head.

__

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__

Tweek was the trickier of the two. He wasn’t particularly a materialistic person, and like my parents, if a need or a want came about his parents would get it. He was also someone who didn’t hold particularly strong interests in anything, he’d hold an obsession with some TV show for a month or so then move onto something else, then something else, then something else, and it was continuous cycle and it was hard to buy items based off those interests if he didn’t really care for them a few months down the line.

__

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“Does he like a certain coffee brand? Man, I’m getting desperate.”

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“Not really, he just kind of drinks whatever. I’m sure if you just got him coffee beans he’d be ecstatic.”

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“I’m sure, but I just feel that that’s not enough.” He groaned loudly, throwing his head back.

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“Mmmh, what about that hippy store across the mall? He’s into zen shit, and I’m pretty sure I’ve seen incense in his room before.”

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“Is that why his room always smells so nice?”

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“I believe so, it’s not like he keeps it pristine, so whatever it is, it’s deff artificial.”

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We back tracked across the mall to the hippy store. No one could ever remember its name, but they have weird shit in it. Like crystal skulls, bongs, tall ass wooden giraffe statues, all that kind of shit. It also smelled very Earthy. It was unique, plus it had a chill vibe. I don’t ever recall Tweek and I coming in here before, maybe I’ll have to make that happen one day. 

__

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Finding the most Tweek-like incense wasn’t easy either. They had about a good fifty scents, which started to smell the same after ten. They also all had strange ass names, so trying to seriously discuss the scents such as ‘hippy christmas’ and ‘hayride fragrance’ wasn’t happening. The oils, whatever those are used for, had even funkier names. We were in that store for probably a good hour and a half before finalizing the purchase of a small buddha fountain and mundane incense like lavender and golden sandalwood. 

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Before heading back to South Park we decided to snag a bite to eat at a Steak n’ Shake. Steak n’ Shake isn’t the best place to eat, but when I’m as hungry as I am now, I can live with it. Clyde and Token tend to go here a lot if it’s just the two of them out for the day, so I guess I’m Clyde replacement today. 

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We were both on our phones as we ate, that is until Token broke the comfortable silence. 

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“So,” Token wiped his mouth as he began, “I’ve finally decided where I’m going to go. For college that is.”

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He sounded cautious, but for a good reason I guess. I kind of blew up last time when he brought up he wanted to go to somewhere far away. Or at least mentally I did. God, I hope it’s not that place.

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“Oh, really? That’s good. Where?”

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He nervously laughed, “The University of Michigan.”

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Oh.

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“That’s, um, kind of far, right?”

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He sheepishly rubbed a hand from his cheek to his hairline before redirecting his attention to picking at his hamburger bun. 

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“Yea, it’s like tweny-ish hours drive, or like two hours by plane.”

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I frowned. I didn’t mean to, but it kind of hurts. He’ll be so far away. Clyde will end up leaving too, true he’ll be much closer, but he’ll be just as busy and that’ll basically feel like he’s just as far as Token. 

__

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“Now don’t worry!” His eyes searched my face, like he was afraid of what I might do. “I’ll be back during breaks and holidays! I plan to text and facetime you guys, like, all the time! It’ll basically be no different other than not being able to see each other every single day.”

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I inhaled deeply, releasing it all until my chest hurt.

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“Listen, dude, don’t worry about it. I’m cool with it. Congrats, dude. I know you said before you really wanted to get into it.”

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He studied me looking for a crack in my façade. I guess he deemed it fine for now. He relaxed back into his seat, grabbing ahold of his burger.

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I politely asked him questions about his college and what not. He showed me photos of its campus. By the time we finished it was fully dark out and I was ready to get back home.

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My bed, like I assume most peoples’ beds are to them, is my sanctuary. When I feel the worse there’s not place I’d rather be. Even right now I don’t think Tweek could give me a better shelter from my own thoughts. Not like my bed is protecting from my thoughts, but rather, it’s more like a calming place to pick apart my worries and fears without having to hide myself. If I’m sad, I’ll cry, if I’m angry I’ll beat the shit out of my mattress, if I’m lonely, I’ll cuddle into the covers. It’s my place to be me and right now it’s exactly what I need.

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I can’t get passed the thought of Clyde and Token leaving. And god forbid if Tweek ends up leaving too. What would I then? Fuck, I don’t know what would hurt the most. We’ve all been together for so long and I don’t want to be forgotten. I don’t want to be alone. 

__

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Tweek once mentioned to me that either Token or Clyde was worried that them going to colleges seems as if they are abandoning me. I know it’s not intentional and that’s not the case, but that’s right on point. In the end, that’s exactly how it feels. I know they say they’ll text or call or facetime, but after a while that will stop. As people grow older, they grow apart. If we all stayed in one place, it would be easy to keep us glued together. But once we start picking away, we can’t keep that adhesive strong enough to hold any longer. The visits back to South Park will eventually cease, so will the calls, and so will the texts.

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They’ll make new groups of friends and forget about little ol’ me, stuck in South Park because I probably won’t do shit with my life. 

__

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And is that decision bad on my part? No, I don’t think so. 

__

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Yet it still hurts that all these years together, all these memories and jokes and connections will all be but distant reminders of an old life they will not want to return to. 

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I want my friends to be happy. I do. I’m a selfish person though. I want them for myself. But life sucks, and people can’t be controlled. They have their own goals to attend to, even if I don’t have any.

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Of all of this though, the thought of Tweek leaving is the one I fear most of all, especially since the other two are no doubt leaving this town by the end of next year. 

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I’d be totally alone then. Not to mention, what if Tweek not only finds a new best friend, but also _someone else_. What if he falls in love.

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My stomach dropped and my heart feels like it’s burning. I curled into myself more.

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I can’t lose Tweek. Especially not him, I can’t.

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My pillow feels wet against my face, but I can’t bother to move it.

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“Hey...” 

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My door creaked open, I could hear Tweek close it and drop his bag to the floor.

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I didn’t respond, only pulling my covers closer. 

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How long have I been laying here?

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“Why haven’t you answered my texts? You skipped school, so you should at least answer when I’m worried.”

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He sat on the edge, I felt a hand brush through my sad mess of hair. 

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“I just wasn’t feeling it.”

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“You okay?”

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Yes, I’m perfectly fine. Thanks for your concern, but it is not needed here.

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“I don’t know.”

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“Token said he told you about him going to Michigan.” Go figures he would. He probably told them about it way before bringing it up to me. “Is that why?”

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Do I really feel like talking to this with someone? Not really. Am I going to though, yeah, of course. Mostly because it’s Tweek who’s being all cute worrying over me. 

__

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I sat up, leaning back on my hands for support as I looked down in my lap, or at the pile of blankets draped around me.

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“Look, I don’t know. Yea, it bothers me. There’s nothing I can do about it. I just... I just don’t want them to forget about us.”

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Tweek gave a weak smile, “I get it. I’ve thought about that too.”

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“You have?”

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“Yep, and you know, I figured if they do that’s on them. But I don’t think they will. Us four, we aren’t friends, or best friends, we are like family. You don’t ditch out on family you love. Or at least, that’s how I see it.”

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Fuck. He had such a good point. It’s this view on life I wish I was born with. 

__

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And yet, despite his words resonating deep within my conscious, soothing my worries in just seconds. Despite him making me rethink where my true sanctuary actually is, my mind also decided to be stupid.

__

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To take his little speech as a giant, big, fat friend zone. 

__

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Little giggles escaped me before I could refrain my thoughts from going any further.

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Tweek eyed me, shifting closer. An amused smile appeared on his lips.

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“What’s so funny? I’m trying to be serious here.”

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“Nothing, it’s nothing.” I waved him off, trying to contain myself. I had to play this off. No way in hell could I explain what just happened. “It’s just, you’re right.”

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His smile broadened. 

__

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“Well get dressed, I’ll treat you out.” 

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Now I’m being spoiled? Hell yeah. 

__

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We ended up having Chinese, ordering some extra to go so we could also have it for dinner tonight. Things went on as normal, going home and watching some shows, getting bored and turning to video games for entertainment. 

__

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__

The whole time, something kept nagging at the back of my mind. Something I didn’t want to bring up, and something I didn’t want to hear about incase the answer is not what I would like to hear. With graduation coming up though, it is something I should ask. Like soon. Like now. I think he has purposefully not brought it up either since he knows how I am a little too well.

__

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__

“Graduation is coming here soon.”

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“We still have a whole semester left. We haven’t even finished this one yet.” He groaned as his character died for the billionth time. “Anyways, isn’t it kind of weird for you to bring that up?”

__

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I huffed out a sigh.

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“Yeah, yeah. Well. What do you plan to do?”

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__

Tweek paused the game, right as I was about to get a kill.

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He turned himself towards me, giving me his undivided attention.

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“Do you really want to know?”

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“I guess.”

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“Well, for your information, I don’t really know.”

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I raised my eyebrows in surprised. I kind of figured he’d have some sort of idea.

__

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__

“You don’t know?”

__

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__

“Nope. I’ll probably keep on working for my parents a bit, as much as I hate to. Get my driver’s license, save up for a car. I might just do a skip year and try to do school after.”

__

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__

“What school you thinking of?”

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__

“I’m not sure. Maybe a community college close by. Hopefully I’d be able to commute by that point, hence the car. Or maybe something online?”

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__

As much as I’m enjoying everything I’m hearing so far, I just have to make sure of one thing.

__

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__

“You don’t want to leave South Park?”

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__

“No, I don’t have a strong need to leave here, cause-” His eyebrows narrowed in on each other as he caught himself midsentence. He glanced away for a quick second before trying to redeem a little bit of himself, “cause, well yea, just cause.” He looked down, playing with the controller.

__

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__

“What’s the ‘cause’?”

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__

“It’s nothing. Never mind. I don’t know why I even said it. Just kind of came out.” He as getting more fidgety. What a liar.

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“You’re lying.”

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“No, I’m not!” He looked me dead in the eyes. I could see his jaw moving, like he was biting his tongue or something.

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“I can tell, dumbass. What is it?”

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__

He completely shifted away from me.

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“No, it’s nothing. It’s embarrassing, just forget about it.”

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__

“Oh ho ho, first it was nothing, and now it’s something embarrassing.”

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I scooched closer to him, poking at his cheek.

__

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__

“What is this embarrassing thing, Mr. liar?”

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__

He leaned his head away out of my touch, but I just got closer to keep messing with him. He ignored me, doing a fake pout.

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“Leave me alone, jackass.”

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“I’m the jackass? I’m not the one lying here, now am I?” I draped myself over him, still poking at his face.

__

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__

“You really wanna know?”

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“I do, indeed.”

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“God, you made this into such a big thing, but it’s nothing really.” He avoided all eye contact. “You know, it’s just I’d miss you. I wanna be with you, you know.”

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__

I think my heart just stopped. Holy shit.

__

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__

“Same.” What. I didn’t mean to say that. I meant it, but Jesus.

__

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__

Tweek quickly sputtered, muttering out, “You’re my bestest friend. I like us hanging out. No one else would understand me, and I know for a fact there’s a very select number of people who can stand you. We need each other.”

__

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__

I’m definitely getting majorly friend zoned right now, but holy shit. Oh my god. I think I’m falling more in love with this kid.

__

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__

“I, I agree. You’re my bestest friend too. I need you too.” Smooth Tucker, but I guess that’s probably the best I can do for now without completely outing myself for being absolutely caught up on him. 

__

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__

His smile was gentle and he leaned into me. I think I heard a small thank you, but I’m not sure cause my heart is pounding way too loudly and those butterflies in my stomach are way too distracting.

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End file.
